It's Just Jammy's Luck

Metro Stars Football Club (MSFC)

2011-10-28T14:20:00.002+08:00

MSSION STATEMENT

Metro Stars Football Club is a community based football club that fosters grassroots development for aspiring football stars in the Philippines. We aim to provide a fun and safe environment where children of all abilities can learn to play and love football.

We pledge to treat each child equally and to encourage fair play, team spirit and friendship.
...
Football is a competitive sport but we value camaraderie among players, coaches, parents, school and community. Our training sessions are open to all children regardless of their ability, gender, race, creed or religion.

We promise to deal with any complaints or problems speedily and will try our best to resolve all situations, but the interest of our junior members will be foremost in our minds.

We ask for all adults involved with the club as managers, coaches, parents or committee members to do their bit to encourage fair play as well as commitment.

AIM AND OBJECTIVES

The aim of our grassroots development plan is to provide a first class football club for kids, young people, their parents and all interested in sport in Quezon City and surrounding areas through the provision of high quality coaching, an enjoyable club atmosphere and a wide range of activities and opportunities for all.

Our objectives include:

MSFC will endeavor to facilitate the provision of the best playing amenities and equipment available to us in line with the growth of sport within Quezon City.

MSFC will strive to provide an opportunity for players of both sexes to participate in football at all age levels regardless of ability.

MSFC will seek to compete at the highest possible level abiding by the rules of fair play at all times.

MSFC and its members will encourage and promote the development of football within the community of Quezon City, with an emphasis on youth teams and girls football.

Increased participation for children and adults – to have an open club where all are welcome.

More female participation at child and adult levels within the club including players, coaches, committee members and referees.

We will achieve the above by:

Encouraging the development of football at all levels with the emphasis on giving equal opportunities to all children.

A policy of equal opportunity where the best possible facilities are made available for both sexes and all ages and different abilities.

Encouraging sportsmanship, fair play and competition.

Supporting the development of football and sport in general throughout the town and supporting attempts to improve sporting venues and facilities.

Supporting our Community and Schools within the vicinity and providing football camps for the schools and to increase female participation in sport.

Participating in NCRFA (National Capital Region Football Association) to provide venue for children to play in district, regional and possibly national leagues.

Forgetting JPG

2009-10-13T19:34:00.001+08:00

I miss you. =(

Forgetting JPG

2009-10-12T18:09:00.000+08:00

It takes 21 consecutive days of repeated doing of an act to make a habit and it takes 21 consecutive days as well to kill a habit. At my previous work and the others before that one, I'm known to be the one that arrives late or miss a day or two for no apparent reason. But I challenged myself in this regard,and for at least 21 days, arrived at least 30 minutes for work. I was punctual and never absent for 2 months --a big improvement according to my reputation. I tried quitting smoking but I can only go as far as Day 2, so I'm not so successful with that one but I think it is because I don't really want to quit the habit.

There is another habit I don't want to end; for the past 3 months, I've gotten the habit of spending 1/3 of my day with JPG, on the phone, ym, fb poker, etc. And all that ended, it's not like I didn't know it would happen but --for the months we wasted on each other, for the time I wasted his time and the times he made me wait, for the times I wake up at odd hours to talk to him and for the times he had to sleep at 6am to talk to me, for the many plans we crossed out for each other, for the many plans we made together, for our differences and brokeness, honesty and mystery that envelopes us--I prayed that we will make it together against all odds.

Only it didn't. It ended before it began.

It has been 21 days since we had blow, I didn't think it was that serious until we were literally not talking. It's hard when two proud people in love ends up fighting, it's like holding your breath underwater too long that your eyes are beginning to pop, your head in purple tint begging for air but you just won't let go , just won't breathe for the sake of pride. Maybe we were'nt really in love but we're certainly two proud people but I do love him--just not sure any more If I should but I still love him anyway.

I just wonder, what you are doing at certain hours that we usually spend together. How's your Saturdays? What time do you sleep now? What are you reviewing now? Who are you flirting with nowadays? How much poker chips do you have now? Does my voice still ring in your ears because yours certainly does to me? I miss your snoring, in some weird way, it lulls me to sleep.

Today, I know, I still love JPG. It has been 21 days but he's a habit I don't want to let go yet. Maybe the day will come when I won't be thinking of him, but not yet, because everything I do, reminds me of him and every boy I date, I see his face.

Bugtong [Riddle]

2009-01-26T02:06:00.005+08:00

"Nakaluhod kung gawin,
Padasal kung lutuin,
Nakatingala sa langit kung inumin."
-Lumang Bugtong
Sagot: _______

"Made while kneeling
Pray while cooking
Look up and thank the heavens
while drinking."
-Old Filipino Rhyme and Riddle
Answer: ______

Take a guess.... comments (answers) are welcome =)
Hint: Valentine Favortie

Sad Endings

2009-01-21T18:02:00.001+08:00

I hate sad endings. Actually I hate endings period. To end a story, a decision has to be made... and stick to it like it was what it has to be, a rest. So it has to be the proper rest so there is no point, no need to want to turn things around because that would be a regret. I don't like that word too -regret.

(too upset to go on...will elaborate more soon maybe)

2009-01-20T00:50:00.002+08:00

ok..

So I got curious anyway about Stephanie Meyer's Twilight Series and meant to read the first few pages from the first book of four yesterday and I find myself done with the second book and can't wait to dig on the next one.

I must say I'm impressed.

there, enough blabbing for now. It's about time Bella graduates highschool. tooodooodoooodum

The Best Job In The World

2009-01-13T23:30:00.004+08:00

I love my recent job as a preschool teacher. I was lucky to teach children on an international school in the most famous island in the Philippines -Boracay Island. Before this, I was teaching in Claret School and had to save a lot to fly to Boracay and it can get really expensive and I thought why not live on the island and find a job that can sustain my living cost on this white sand and blue-green waters. A long shot but dreaming paid off. That was the best job in the world for me for 2007-2008.

Until Yahoo! came up with this job post for a caretaker, and I must agree it is very tempting. It is the only one that can top my previous job.

It certainly is the best job in the world! I would fight my way to get that job.

The Wolves Took It

2009-01-12T14:38:00.003+08:00

Lost things have a way of coming back. In 2003, I bought two Neil Gaiman hardbound books in Fully Booked, Greenhills. The two picture books were "The Day I Swapped My Father For Two Goldfish" and "The Wolves In The Walls". These were very fantastic materials for storytelling for gradeschoolers, my students love it even my colleagues love it as well. I often lend my books to friends and sometimes these books forget to come back to me and because so many books had been lent out and so many months and even years had passed I forget to whom it was lent to. "The Wolves in the Walls" are one of the books that I lost and missed for ... 6 long years.

I've looked everywhere in the house to find that book but just couldn't locate it anywhere. And after some time, I've come to accept that it will never come back, whoever possesses it (after 6 years of keeping) assumes ownership. I guess most people assume that way, may it be about borrowed books, pen, dvds or money perhaps, --hoping the lender forgets about the matter. hmm, I see guilty eyes. hehehehe

But anyway, the book came back in the most peculiar manner and no need to point fingers. It magically appeared under the coffee table. I mean, come on! I can't believe its back and I'm in denial that its the very same book I bought years back, so I flipped the book to see the back cover and I saw what I needed to see -the proof (Fully Booked Sticker P714.00). Thats all I need, I'm glad.

If you do have toddlers, you might want to buy and read the books to them and later on when they do start to read by themselves have them read it to you. Its one of the good ways to encourage kids to read. A very amusing story and entertaining pictures.

Here is a browse inside application to the book. Check it out.

A Boracay Memoir

2009-01-12T02:19:00.005+08:00

Today's weather is as perfect as yesterday and its even more pleasant because the moon is at its biggest and brightest full moon glow. Times like these bring back fond memories, it makes me think of Boracay. Every time its nice and windy or so sunny that I could feel so warm to the bone or whenever the moon looks so dashingly handsome... such nights send me back to the island I just need to close my eyes and I know its real and tonight is one of those very nights.

I leave my little hut perched up in the hill, secured my key in my pocket and took my trusty lighter with a built in flashlight --oh what a firefly this is. I turned to face the narrow path that would lead to the main road and it was already illuminated,no need for firefly then, so I just light a cig. It's a pleasant night, I opt to walk the entire way. Its so quiet that I could hear the island in orchestra -the sound of the wind against the leaf blades of the grass and bamboo trees; tricycles and motorbikes slowing down offering a ride, I decline and they go like resonating notes of violas and cellos, the distant videoke singer (probably drunk) reaches for the high notes falters and tries again and it goes on like shreiking violin but distance is a friend, it sounds good; then I hear the cicada's love song --the erotic call for a mate, but the cicada is not alone, everyone is seeking a match. Driven by insatiable lust, crickets, cicadas and God knows even butterflies and fireflies have songs of love --all of them sing in chorus (no shame in sex). I could stay and listen to this exclusive six-legged insect band and learn from them but in fact, my mind has drifted off already about human sexuality and *bang* the cymbals, I hear the crashing of the waves and my side tracking ends. The waves can be predictable at nights like this one, they just crash within a definite time or interval or momentum or pace. The waves make a hushing sound when it withdraws and moans loud when it claws back to shore. The hushes and moans of the sea and shore an incesant erotic love affair.

Someone is playing the didgeridoo, that means the party is about to start and I'm not missing it.
Red Pirates Pub Full Moon Parties are nothing like anything else in the island and for that it has a special charm to backpackers. Its a place where people come barefoot, dressed down, guards off, all-pretentions stripped-off and sometimes just plain stripped off. Its a very secluded nook where people come for chats, drinks, fire dance and live drum jams of Boracay's very own. I come here often for the very same reasons plus mango rhum, a game of poker or two, scrabble and dinners. Joey and Jen (the pub's owners) are very generous with their Friday dinners and I am very grateful.

I love nights like this one.

----------------
Find discounts on Boracay luxury hotels and affordable lodges here.

The 2009 Starbucks Planner Hype

2009-01-07T23:58:00.003+08:00

There was quite a domestic stir last night over an obsession to own a 2009 Starbucks Planner. I'm not really a fan of the idea "meeting the quota to redeem prize" especially when year after year, the much awaited planner is less appealing than last year's offer. I would not be surprised that the year will come when Starbucks Planners would be reduce to a size of a then popular Hallmark Daily Planners (I used to have back in the days which is functional, appealing and reasonably priced) and of course, Hallelujah, be free.

I think the best planner Starbucks has released was the very first one. Hard leather-bound, pen, monthly treats included and post cards for Mom and Dad. That one has the personal feel at least it was to me.

This year, I was given a Green HP 2009 Planner Notebook which is more functional and appealing than the costly alternative. But anyway, no one can stop me from my favorite holiday drink, Starbucks Toffee Nut Latte Frappuccino and so I also collect the very last 4 stickers to redeem a planner I won't be using, at least my sister would be glad to have it.

All is well.

Xaymaca Bar's Last Hurrah

2008-12-28T04:09:00.002+08:00

Well well, I just had to go without any acceptable reason not to be in Xaymaca Bar, Timog Ave yesterday night as it happens to be the last gig night. And on that very night, Brownman Revival (BMR) graces the faithful crowd.

At times like these, I can't be more sentimental and I think most of the people among the crowd last night are in the same bus as I am...going down to one's memory lane of Xaymaca as it was years back. So I went to Xaymaca with my friend Ayr from another party (at Bar42, Tomas Morato) and met up with long time BMR-faithful friends: sexynomad, adam mordo, koryn and michelle and needless to say, we had fun just like old times.

For posterity, I video-ed the last two songs the band played. I will upload it soon... but right now...I'm ready for shut-eye. If you like listening to BMR, then watch out for it because the band went crazy...even the seem to be timid Onard (Brownman Keyboardist)!

until then, x.

Movie: The Kite Runner

2008-12-12T09:04:00.014+08:00

The Kite Runner Movie

I've seen the story of the two brothers, Amir and Hassan, on film a few days ago and I still find it as moving as the novel where the excerpts were taken.

Some people would say that the movie doesn't give justice to Khaled Hoesseini's best seller novel "The Kite Runner". I agree but on the other hand I never expected the movie experience to surpass the novel's charm. In fact, I never ever did have that expectation with past novel-based movies. They can never be more enchanting than the book where the stories were derived from. It would take longer than 3 hours to watch if every event in the book was to be put into film. I am not going to watch a film longer than 3 hours. But even so, this movie is a must see!

My eyes welled-up with tears during the entire length of the film, right on the first frame to the last, I, without exaggeration, did tear up. The director really took time in choosing excerpts to show from the novel. As I, having read the book and needless to say am very familiar with the story, connected with the portrayed scenes and even scenes omitted in between but I have to fill in the missing details for my sisters who haven't read the book yet.

The first hour of the film was generously allotted to depict events from the first page up until Hassan and Ali leaves the house then more scenes were left out after that event. I was hoping to see more of Sohrab's issues (losing all hope in the world) but most are conveniently left out. Leaving out, most especially, Sohrab's failed suicide attempt. Which I think is very important to express Sohrab's helplessness and weariness explaining his aloofness towards Soraya and Amir.

But I can never say it enough, I LOVE THE FILM. Go and see the movie, it is not to be missed.

Favorite Lines:

"For You, a thousand times over"

"...there is only one sin, only one. And that is theft. Every other sin is a variation of theft...when you kill a man, you steal a life, you steal his wife's right to a husband, rob his children of a father. When you tell a lie, you steal someone's right to the truth. When you cheat, you steal the right to fairness..."

"There is a way to be good again."

Stills taken from the movie:

1. Hassan knowing where the kite will land.

2. Hassan and Amir watching a western film.

3. Hassan-the kite runner saying "For you, a thousand times over."

4. Amir provoking Hassan to fight back.

5. Rahim Khan giving his birthday present to Amir.

6. Sohrab with his slingshot hits Assef on the eye.

7. Amir, Soraya and Hassan flying a kite together in a park.

8. Baba forgiving Hassan for stealing Amir's watch. Ali and Hassan decides to leave Wazik Akbar Khan.

The Devil and Miss Prym

2008-12-08T22:39:00.003+08:00

For a limited time, Paulo Coelho; the author of many acclaimed novels such as The Alchemist, By The River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept, Eleven Minutes, Veronika Decides to Die (to name a few); has granted a 100% FREE reading of his best-seller novel "The Devil and Miss Prym".

This story of temptation is a thought-provoking parable of a community devoured by greed, cowardice, and fear—as it struggles with the choice between good and evil.

Browse Inside this book

Get this for your site

The Kite Runner

2008-12-08T04:23:00.004+08:00

Khaled Hosseini has won me over with his first novel, "The Kite Runner". He is, in my books (pun intended), one of today's phenomenal story tellers and I say it without exaggeration. I couldn't put the book down and read it, from cover to cover (with minimal sleep) in 3 days because I was so eager to find out where the events would lead.

Reading the novel is like opening a door to Afghanistan's history and culture, that in itself is already a devastating story to start with. The novel tells the story of Amir's childhood in Kabul with Baba (his father), Ali (servant), Hassan (Ali's son) and Rahim Khan (Baba's friend who, to Amir's eyes, understands him more than Baba).

Amir recollects the painful events he has caused Hassan's (his kite runner) family; his desire for Baba's complete attention and approval; his jealousy over Baba's affection on Hassan; Hassan's courage, Rahim Khan's endearing presence and his search for redemption.

I don't really want to say more about the story as I might be revealing too much to spoil it (spoiler alert here).

There are numerous materials available online of and about the novel. I'm downloading the movie and the audiobook right now as these contents were not available at the time I've read the book. But if you haven't read the book yet, go get a copy. If you have, well then get Hosseini's second novel, "A Thousand Splendid Suns".

The story, "The Kite Runner", reminds me of my childhood -the '80s to '90s (yeah!!!) with my cousins. At that time, although we have gaming consoles like Nintendo Family Computer, Game n' Watches, joy sticks games, the games of choice are the really tiring 'It Games' like Tumbang Preso, Pepsi 7-Up, Touch the Color, Monkey Monkey, Langit Lupa, Pussy Cat Pussy Cat, and etc. I can go on on in this list of games. (I will, just you wait! LOL). We get repremanded to play around the time dinner is ready (yes, the time when the entire family eats together) and disobedience means a beating(LOL). Only when we are sent home do we really play with the gaming consoles.

Games back then were more DIY. We used to make and fly our own kites in our backyard with walis ting-ting, pastic grocerybags and our lola's sewing thread (hahahahaha). We make our own bubble fun in numerous fashion depending on the availability of the materials needed and where the modus operandi will take place. If we were out in the garden, we would crush gumamela leaves and flowers to a slimy paste and add water sometimes adding manang's detergent for maximum effect and a looped walis ting ting or hallow papaya leaf stalk, when in the bathroom with cousins, we just dab a tiny amount of Johnson's Baby Shampoo on our lips and start blowing and then weeeeEEE! We do get in trouble a lot and get a scolding from Manang because sometimes we use too much detergent for our bubble fun and the mysterious thinning of the walis ting ting.

What's Your Favorite Color?

2008-12-05T19:37:00.005+08:00

Dear Paris Hilton,

You're no longer in preschool where teachers would think it cute that toddlers wear their favorite color all over. Are you doing this as a motion to convince Crayola to rename Pink to Paris?

Were they bought on sale? Wait, that's not right... did you just shop at your own store?

Esthero - Everyday Is A Holiday With You

2008-12-05T17:50:00.001+08:00

Title: Everyday Is A Holiday With You (see video on youtube)
Artist: Esthero
Album:2006?

Met him on Sunday
Loved him by Tuesday afternoon
Woke up on Friday
Changed my whole life
to make some room

Around a quarter to two
I have remembered all of my lines
I say when I think of you

Your'e like a favorite song to
That melody, that melody I love
And it goes

La da da da da da da da da da
La da da da da
La da da da da
La da da da

Hopped on the Metro
And I'm on my way home
But I can't get him out of my mind
No matter just how hard I try

And if the rumors were true
I could look forward to some
[ Find more Lyrics at www.mp3lyrics.org/RZq ]

Better days and get aways
Are so nice 'cause when I am with you
You're the cresendo to
that melody, that melody
I love

La da da da da da da da da da

Better days and get aways
'Cause every day is a holiday with you

La da da da da..

Better days and get aways
'Cause every day is a holiday with you

Gotta let them know
Gotta know for sure
Dont leave me I'm in the cold
Gotta know for sure

La la la la..

When I think of you
Better days and get aways
'Cause every day is a holida with you

La da da da da da da da da da

Better days and get aways
'Cause every day is a holiday with you

La da da da da..

Maria Mena - Just A Little Bit

2008-12-05T17:48:00.001+08:00

Title: Just A Little Bit (see video on youtube)
Artist: Maria Mena (read interview)
Album: 2004

just a little bit stronger
just a little bit wiser
just a little less needy
and maybe i'd get there

just a little bit pretty
just a little more aware
just a little bit thinner
and maybe i'd get there

clearly, clearly i remember
hiking up my skirt
and asking for your time

clearly, clearly i remember
nervous if ever confronted
and questioning myself

oh perhaps, perhaps if i got better
perhaps if i challenged myself
perhaps if i was...

just a little bit stronger
just a little bit wiser
just a little less needy
and maybe i'd get there

just a little bit pretty
just a little more aware
just a little bit thinner
and maybe i'd get there

clearly, clearly i remember
pulling up my shirt
and staring blank ahead

clearly, clearly i remember
days of useless crying
and almost feeling dead

oh perhaps, perhaps if i was smaller
perhaps i could control myself
perhaps if i was...

just a little bit stronger
just a little bit wiser
just a little less needy
and maybe i'd get there

just a little bit pretty
just a little more aware
just a little bit thinner
and maybe i'd get there

just a little bit stronger
just a little bit wiser
just a little less needy
and maybe i'd get there

just a little bit pretty
just a little more aware
just a little bit thinner
and maybe i'd get there

oooahhhh oooahhhh oooahhhh oooahhhh
just a little bit pretty
just a little more aware
just a little bit thinner
and maybe i'd get there

Lenka - The Show

2008-12-05T17:46:00.000+08:00

Title: The Show (see official video on youtube)
Artist: Lenka
Album: Lenka (2008)

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

Slow it down
Make it stop
Or else my heart is going to pop
'Cause it's too much
Yeah, it's a lot
To be something I'm not

I'm a fool
Out of love
'Cause I just can't get enough

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

The sun is hot
In the sky
Just like a giant spotlight
The people follow the sign
And synchronize in time
It's a joke
Nobody knows
They've got a ticket to that show
Yeah

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I dont know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

Just enjoy the show

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I dont know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

dum de dum
dudum de dum

Just enjoy the show

dum de dum
dudum de dum

Just enjoy the show

I want my money back
I want my money back
I want my money back
Just enjoy the show

I want my money back
I want my money back
I want my money back
Just enjoy the show

Coming Back Home

2008-09-08T02:33:00.003+08:00

almost everyone.
I'm back home.

My response to Jaeyoun Kim's Essay

2008-08-20T08:21:00.003+08:00

I am posting my email response regarding Jaeyoun Kim's essay on Filipinos and the Philippines. You may received it on your mail. I find it alarming that Filipinos actually find it inspiring and amusing and forward it to fellow Filipinos and the recipients forward it to more Filipinos. I personally want to stop the cycle. I don't find Jaeyoun Kim's essay amusing and much less, inspiring. Although, If you happen to be Filipino and find his essay otherwise, do enlighten me. I may be missing something. But for now, since you are reading already, I lay my thoughts. Comments are welcome. I just would like to know how Filipinos take Jaeyoun's "Philippines My Philippines" essay. If you haven't read it, well you are lucky (or not) because that's what the previous entry was all about.

My email response goes...

Good day everyone!

I have read the Korean's Essay and I find it inconsistent and maybe I don't share the same opinion with you.

I don't agree that Filipinos do not love their homeland and that being "the problem" of our country. I don't agree also that judging one's national patriotism on one's desire to live and work in another country other than your homeland as a sign of lack of love of the country. In this case, Filipino OFWs are questioned on their lack of love for the Philippines. It just doesn't ring true to my ears.

In the essay it was also mentioned that during a very hard time (40 years ago) in Korea, Koreans left their country to Germany to work and that they came back to Korea years after. We also have sent teachers, nurses, care givers, domestic helpers, foremen, security guards, miners, cooks, cruise workers, name it, we've sent them all over the world and after some time, OFW come back to the Philippines -balikbayans. Even if they left the country, I do believe that in every Filipino OFW's heart is a yearning to go home and a burning love of the country. I don't doubt that. (Of course a visiting Korean student wouldn’t know about that in his short visit to our country)

Who is this Korean dare judge Filipinos that way? Make conclusions based on an afflicted Filipino prisoner. Of course these prisoners would want to be off their burden thus wanting to leave and never come back. It isn't a secret to the world that our prison's state is so bad. I think the writer should have sought another Filipino like the ones who are OFW or just not in prison.

I am a teacher, I wished the writer asked me and maybe he would think differently. I wished the writer met my student to prove that Filipinos are patriotic. Although at the moment I am not affiliated in any school but I consider myself still a teacher. The same logic applies to any OFW even if they are not in the Philippine Islands, they are still Filipinos and proud at that. But anyway, going back to being a teacher, I taught in Island Home International Primary School (A British International School) in Boracay Island. My students are foreign in nationality and some are of Filipino descent having one Filipino parent. Although they have difficulty in speaking Filipino, they are proud of their Pinoy heritage. They know their flags and some were taught by their parents to sing Pinoy nursery rhymes. You will be surprised, they have bright plans only a loving Pinoy child citizen would dream for their neighborhood, city, and the Philippines. So what is this Korean talking about?

Ask athletes maybe. Ask them how it feels to carry and wave the Philippine flag on a foreign country and represent Philippines. Their victory is not a selfish one, they shout "Pilipinas" with all their heart; “Ginto Para sa Pilipinas” with pride. They cry too, and their tears roots from this well of Filipino pride. We all have this well in our hearts and I hope we take good care of it, let’s not think so badly of our own countrymen. (Let the Koreans do that –I’m kidding).

My point is, his claim isn’t valid. Why of all people would you ask a prisoner deprived of freedom and then generalize his desire to fly out of the country never come back be true to all Filipinos. I think any prisoner would say that even a Korean.

Regards,

Maria Jasmin Maramag
PROUD FILIPINO TEACHER

To all Filipino bloggers out there, I wish you would write your insights too on your blog about this.

Jaeyoun Kim's Essay About the Philippines

2008-08-20T08:09:00.004+08:00

Before I say my opinion about this Korean's essay about Filipinos and the Philippines. I think I should keep a copy of it so everyone who reads my response on Jaeyoun Kim's essay would know the story.

--Lifted from a forwarded email
(AND PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF PHILIPPINES, DO NOT FORWARD IT ANYMORE)

...and the email goes ...

"Please pass it to all Filipinos you know.

As you know, we have plenty of Koreans currently studying in the Philippines to take advantage of our cheap tuition fees and learn English at the same time. This is an essay written by a Korean student, (Never mind the grammar; it's the CONTENT that counts). Maybe it is timely to think about this in the midst of all the confusion at present.

MY SHORT ESSAY ABOUT THE PHILIPPINES
Jaeyoun Kim

Filipinos always complain about the corruption in the Philippines . Do you really think the corruption
is the problem of the Philippines ? I do not think so. I strongly believe that the problem is the lack of love for the Philippines .

Let me first talk about my country, Korea . It might help you understand my point. After the Korean War, South Korea was one of the poorest countries in the world. Koreans had to start from scratch because
entire country was destroyed after the Korean War, and we had nonatural resources. Koreans used to talk about the Philippines , for Filipinos were very rich in Asia . We envy Filipinos. Koreans really wanted to be well off like Filipinos. Many Koreans died of famine. My father & brother also died because of famine. Korean government was very corrupt and is still very corrupt beyond your imagination, but Korea was able to develop dramatically because Koreans really did their best for the common good with their heart burning with patriotism. Koreans did not work just for themselves but also for their neighborhood and country. Education inspired young men with the spirit of patriotism.

40 years ago, President Park took over the government to reform Korea .. He tried to borrow money from other countries, but it was not possible to get a loan and attract a foreign investment because the economic situation of South Korea was so bad. Korea had only three factories. So, President Park sent many mine workers and nurses to Germany so that they could send money to Korea to build a factory. They had to go through horrible experience.

In 1964, President Park visited Germany to borrow money. Hundred of Koreans in Germany came to the airport to welcome him and cried there as they saw the President Park. They asked to him, "President, when can we be well off?" That was the only question everyone asked to him. President Park cried with them and promised them that Korea would be well off if everyone works hard for Korea, and the President of Germany got the strong impression on them and lent money to Korea . So, President Park was able to build many factories in Korea. He always asked Koreans to love their country from their heart.

Many Korean scientists and engineers in the USA came back to Korea to help developing country because they wanted their country to be well off. Though they received very small salary, they did their best for Korea. They always hoped that their children would live in well off country. My parents always brought me to the places where poor and physically handicapped people live. They wanted me to understand their life and help them. I also worked for Catholic Church when I was in the army. The only thing I learned from Catholic Church was that we have to love our neighborhood. And, I have loved my neighborhood. Have you cried for the Philippines? I have cried for my country several times. I also cried for the Philippines because of so many poor people. I have been to the New Bilibid prison. What made me sad in the prison were the prisoners who do not have any love for their country. They go to mass and work for Church. They pray every day. However, they do not love the Philippines . I talked to two prisoners at the maximum-security compound, and both of them said that they would leave the Philippines right after they are released from the prison. They said that they would start a new life in their countries and never come back to the Philippines

Many Koreans have a great love for Korea so that we were able to share our wealth with our neighborhood. The owners of factory and company were distributed their profit to their employees fairly so that employees could buy what they needed and saved money for the future and their children.

When I was in Korea, I had a very strong faith and wanted to be a priest. However, when I came to the Philippines , I completely lost my faith. I was very confused when I saw many unbelievable situations in the Philippines . Street kids always make me sad, and I see them every day. The Philippines is the only Catholic country in Asia, but there are too many poor people here. People go to church every Sunday to pray, but nothing has been changed.

My parents came to the Philippines last week and saw this situation. They told me that Korea was much poorer than the present Philippines when they were young. They are so sorry that there are so many beggars and street kids.

When we went to Pasangjan, I forced my parents to take a boat because it would fun. However, they were not happy after taking a boat. They said that they would not take the boat again because they were sympathized the boatmen, for the boatmen were very poor and had a small frame. Most of people just took a boat and enjoyed it. But, my parents did not enjoy it because of love for them.

My mother who has been working for Catholic Church since I was very young told me that if we just go to mass without changing ourselves, we are not Catholic indeed. Faith should come with action.

She added that I have to love Filipinos and do good things for them because all of us are same and have received a great love from God. I want Filipinos to love their neighborhood and country as much as they love God so that the Philippines will be well off.

I am sure that love is the keyword, which Filipinos should remember. We cannot change the sinful structure at once. It should start from person. Love must start in everybody, in a small scale and have to grow. A lot of things happen if we open up to love. Let's put away our prejudices and look at our worries with our new eyes.

I discover that every person is worthy to be loved. Trust in love, because it makes changes possible. Love changes you and me. It changes people, contexts and relationships. It changes the world. Please love your neighborhood and country.

Jesus Christ said that whatever we do to others we do to Him. In the Philippines, there is God for people who are abused and abandoned. There is God who is crying for love.

If you have a child, teach them how to love the Philippines. Teach them why they have to love their neighborhood and country. You already know that God also will be very happy if you love others.

That's all I really want to ask you Filipinos. "

Asian Spirit 6k Seat Sale

2008-08-14T14:55:00.008+08:00

Well yeah. It is the the season again of limited period seat sales, this time I was suprised because Asian Spirit joined the bandwagon on giving REAL seat sales. To be honest, I doubted the validity of it but it is real but only for very very very short while. Imagine as low as Php991 from Manila to Caticlan, when Manila-Kalibo only went as low as Php999.

So what's the catch on this miraculous event?

Well, the cheapest rate is the Php0 fare round trip which cost about Php2888. ROUND TRIP MANILA-CATICLAN and BACK. So when I tried to book a group of 10. on this promo sadly I don't have the list of the names of the passengers. It's a missed cheap fare opportunity but it's ok. And the seat sale go so quickly! Without exaggeration, they change in less than 1 minute.

I haven't slept yet for the last 36 hours and so did my laptop and did nothing but scheme up the lowest airfare for clients. But the sad end to that is, after I've fished a low, if not the lowest fare for some clients, I get bypassed. Not just once, i must add. That's really a loophole in what I do. Of course it is easy to retrieve info from the net but to get it on the perfect time to fish cheap deals to ditch the one who saw an opening, seems unfair. But then again, we learn from our mistakes. Adding accommodation with airfare is a loopy business.

Maybe all these trouble aren't worth it at all. It's not that easy to book the cheapest fare, it takes time and patience. So there goes my tip for all of you who wants to get the cheapest fare... as Professor Mad-eye Moody always say..."constant vigilance".

So there.

I'm just so tired.

One last yosi.

Sleep.

Maybe all these is just a bad dream.

Boracay Travel Expenses: A Budget Guide

2008-08-11T17:14:00.003+08:00

Boracay is in every Filipino's must visit list and budget is always keeping us so away from the destination.
So plan your trip early to save money or save money to start planning your trip. hmmm? Either way, just save up and go when it is cheapest. And you are so lucky because its off season!

So you're still calculating your travel expenses but still clueless of the various fees and taxes you might come by to get here? Lem'me help.

There are various ways to get to Boracay by plane (Kalibo and Caticlan). Kalibo is my favorite because it is relatively much cheaper than Caticlan. But some would prefer Caticlan over Kalibo because it is the fastest way to the island. SO it's really up to you.

Now, get your calculator and compute with me.
(PER PERSON QUOTATION ON 3 Days 2 Nights)

MANILA-KALIBO RoundTrip
Php5500 Airfare (Average of lowest-Php2000 and highest-Php9000)
Php 200 Airport Terminal Fee
Php 150 Kalibo - Caticlan van ride; inclusive of boat fare and jetty port terminal fee)
Php 75 Environmental Fee
Php 100 Special Tricycle fare from jetty port to resort/hotel/hostel
Php2200 Cheapest 3 Days 2 Nights beachfront Lodging
Php 20 Tricycle fare to Boracay Jettyport
Php 40 Boat fare and Terminal fee to Caticlan Jettyport

TOTAL: More or less Php8285 per person/3Days 2 Nights Accommodation

MANILA-CATICLAN Roundtrip
Php8000 Airfare (Average of lowest-Ph4000 and highest-Php12000)
Php 200 Airport Terminal Fee
Php 40 Boat fare and Jetty Port Terminal Fee
Php 75 Environmental Fee
Php 100 Special Tricycle fare from jetty port to resort/hotel/hostel
Php2200 Cheapest 3 Days 2 Nights beachfront Lodging
Php 20 Tricycle fare to Boracay Jettyport
Php 40 Boat fare and Terminal fee to Caticlan Jettyport

TOTAL: More or less Php10675 per person/3Days 2 Nights Accommodation

So raise that travel money and hit Boracay soon!

Habagat Series 1

2008-05-17T20:06:00.007+08:00

Its 4pm and there's no sun but still we're having so much fun! Feeling tourista ulit with all the photo-taking among friends at Bombom bar.

and the boys pose

Lody and I posing a classic tourista pose hehe

Summer Left the Island

2008-05-14T22:45:00.010+08:00

I heard around the island that when the sun sets at its fullest and brightest yellow orange glow, summer is about to end.

And so the day came, the sun set its last glorious show for the year. It was really different. The sun was 5 times bigger than usual. It splashed the island to the orange tinge. Nothing escaped its rays. Then the show came to an end. And indeed, it was the last sunset show.

Days after that, it started pouring like 3 times a week, then it became 4 nights a week. But this week, the sun hardly shone. It was raining all day since yesterday...and today is a same story.

Summer ended so quickly this year. Habagat xame too early and low season is here.

This is what D'mall beachfront at Habagat looks like:

the empty beach front

the umbrella display

Bombar waiters turned People watches (hehehe)

the unusuall empty bombom bar

6.8 Earthquake in the Philippines Hoax

2008-05-14T17:28:00.003+08:00

"U.S. Geological Society predicts a 6.8 magnitude earthquake will hit Philippine plates tonight. Please be Calm and alert"

Late this afternoon, I received a SMS message from a concerned friend about this horrifying to-be-disaster. But before we panic, let's get the matters straight and check the reliability of this information.

Good thing there is internet! It is easy to counter check fraud.

First of, there is no U.S. Geological Soceity, only U.S. Geological Survey Earthquake Hazards Program or better known as USG or Hawaii State Emergency Preparedness Office.

Second, it is so impossible that the entire Philippine plate would experience earth quake all at the same time. Just imagine.

Third, there is no accurate / reliable earthquake predictions anywhere in the world.

I resign

2008-03-05T13:06:00.003+08:00

So much drama lately and I just got to say I resign.

OK.. now that I've taken a breather and my rabid emotions have taken their proper seats, I can deal with what's happened and tell the story.

Boracay Vacation Budget Deals

2008-02-28T13:45:00.003+08:00

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Avail of Boracay Traveller Barkada packages (3pax - above) to get 5% discount on hotel published rates check it out their websites!
Station 1
Bans Boracay
Hannah Hotel
Royal Park

Travel to Boracay at low cost!

Ati-atihan Patikim

2008-01-20T23:36:00.002+08:00

Wow! I got wifi at home (boracay). This so unexpected and I am really thankful that I have it now. I admit, it is hard for me to do away with the internet. I'm so used to getting online almost 24/7 back in Manila and now I am able to have this luxury back!! Oh my! It's like I never left Manila at all!

And this would also mean, I'd be blogging more often again. hahaha. I'm so happy, so so happy!

Just a quick update of what I have been upto:
1. I went to Kalibo for the Ati-atihan Festival
2. I didn't know that Brownman Revival would be playing for the festival (but lucky jammy, was in town too and didn't miss it)
3. Aside from BMR, Mar Roxas, Nel"Crushie" PBB Housemate and MMDA's Bayani Fernando joined the parade.

hmmm, but doesn't it make you wonder??? What business does MMDA got to do with Kalibo's Ati-atihan? Imagine the unnecessary cost of flying a full drum and lyre band from Manila to Boracay and back? The talent fee for the band, the pink sneakers and pink suit? Hotel accomodations? It's a distasteful show of extravagance from a government agency in a third-world country paying first-world tax. Just distasteful at least to me and most of the Aklanons I met in Kalibo.

Haaay, yan muna.

hmmm, did I just admit I crush Nel?

lando

2007-11-27T20:34:00.001+08:00

bagyo kung bagyo. party parin sa boracay

2007-10-26T01:32:00.001+08:00

I can't believe I am having these thoughts and that I am venting it out here for everyone to read.

I don't like working on holidays especially when it is a legal holiday declared by the President. Yes, I am to report for work on the 29th of October. What happened to my citizenship rights? I feel naked.

But on the other hand, what am I complaining about? I'm already on the island! I get to wear my Halloween costume to school. I get to play...Play...PLAY!!!

***jammygrl08 inhales deeply and exhales completely.

I feel better now.

hehehe

Work's A Drain Yet Pay's A Gain!

2007-10-17T13:07:00.003+08:00

Nowadays, I only have a few minute of peace and quiet time to myself everyday. It shows in my blog. I haven't updated anything on it in a long time. So, I thought of letting a minute or two worth of thoughts from my precious limited free time at work.

This week is almost over. I'm so tired, but I shouldn't forget that I'm lucky just by having this job. Lucky to be living here on the island.

lucky...Lucky...LUCKY!!!

but still tired. wenk... wenk... wenk ...wenk(down)

Desire

2007-08-13T00:30:00.001+08:00

Beyond the career success and desire to be wealthy, there lay another wanting, a greater desire in one's heart that hushes the screams of other desires. And that is, to be loved.

Gamugamu

2007-08-10T00:46:00.001+08:00

Ang gamu-gamu naakit sa ilaw. Walang kadala-dala ang mga langgam na may pakpak kahit na kitang-kita naman ang sinapi ng mga naunang nabitag sa balde ng tubig na may repleksyon ng mismong bumbilya sa kisame. Naawa ako sa unang gamu-gamung dumapo sa huwad na liwanag sa papag. Walang kaalam-alam na ang sumasayaw na kinang ay dagat pla ng huwad na pangarap. Naloko. Nampaloko.

Madami na sila. Nagmistulang resort ng gamu-gamu ang baldeng panlaba ni Nanay. Walang kadala-dala.

Gamu-gamu din ako. Naakit sa ilaw. May mga pagkakataong nalilito kung saan ba mas gusto ko, sa bumbilya o sa dagat ng balde. Kung tutuusin, hindi rin tamang sayawan ang bumbilya pero mas kaaya-aya ito keza sa malunod sa huwad na liwanag.

Ayokong maakit sa dagat ng huwad na pag-ibig.

I Keep Coming Back To Manila

2007-07-23T21:55:00.001+08:00

I am back in Manila.

I am currently basking on the following:

Cinemalaya Indie Films at CCP and
...other movies on cinemas
Ababu (Village Persian Kitchen) and
...other nooks around the village
Internet
Cable TV
Jogging at UP Dil
Friends
Family
Cooking

Those are all that matters...for now. These are all the things I lack back in Boracay...so while I have all of it in the city, I shall maximize the comfort they bring.

WORK WORK WORK

2007-05-21T22:49:00.001+08:00

I travelled back to the island on a Saturday afternoon. I didn't have to wait for my tita, lola and cousins until Sunday since they changed their minds about visiting Sampaguita Gardens. Also, Betina, my college classmate/friend is in the island as well!!! So might as well sail a day earlier back home.

I met Betina and her bf, Rad, after dinner; had a few drinks at Aria (I usually bring my friends here because I get happy hour alcohol rates even when it is past 8pm) and caught the fire dance show. I envy their bodies. SO LEAN... maybe if I really stay longer, I'll be flaunting the same tight body...that's a BIG MAYBE.

Anyway, it was so nice to see familiar faces in this new territory. I know it is not really a new territory to me because I've been flying to and fro the island since 2003 but it is different now because I LIVE HERE NOW... this is no vacation. This is a radical shift which I chose.

So radical that sometimes I worry I might not stand living here ALONE! SO LONELY. Not to mention, I am eating up on my savings, which is not how I planned it.

No one to blame but me because I am not doing anything. Just idle most of the time. So I gotta make a move. So I did.

Early this afternoon, I went to YES FM Station and handed over my resume just in case they need another dj (only joking). I went to YES FM Station and handed over my resume just in case there might be interested parties to hire my services (see EMPLOYMENT).

I have friends here now and as I have been told, the average daily wage here is Php190. That's not enough for me. So you see, I really got to do something different to earn more than Php190 a day. Hmmm, massage anyone? hahahaha

Maaaaaaaaaaaaan, net here is expensive. SERIOUSLY. Guess, I better plan my net log-ons like the way I mind my grocery budget and meals.

Living alone is not an easy task but I think it is worth a try. I get to practice being "RESPONSIBLE" lol

Kalibo Break

2007-05-17T22:39:00.001+08:00

Talk about wrong timing.

I've been staying alone at Boracay for 3 weeks; then I decided to visit Ivette back in Andagao,Kalibo, only to find out I have friends coming over at the isla. Haaaaaaaaaaaay!
Oh well, I got to fix my sched. I'm planning to travel back to Boracay (tomorrow) then spend the entire day there then leave and sleep overnight at Ivette's house then on Sunday, I'll meet my relatives at the Airport then visit Sampaguita Garden where the Jojo's Christmas House is located before we hit the island. Sounds like a good plan.

The house is a must visit, guys! Everyday is chirstmas there! The entire house is filled with Precious Moment Dolls and other attractions.. really!! GO VISIT Jojo's Christmas Cottage at Sampaguita Garden on your next trip to Kalibo!

In the meantime, It's friday night later. REGGAE NIGHT HERE TOO, woooooohoooooo. We're going to Mezzanine where the party is at! Sadly no alcohol for us... Prednisone episode again for me and Dentist restriction goes for Ivette.

I LOVE IT HERE!! LOVE IT! LOVE IT! LOVE IT!
My dad sent me a Cebu Pacific E-ticket back home (Manila).

Yes.

Manila ulit.

In two months.

Miss nyo na ako?

Homesickness Has Passed

2007-05-11T21:50:00.001+08:00

I dont feel so homesick anymore.
I actually am starting to feel that this is home.
Boracay is home.

---
Homesickness has passed. Actually, it lasted 4 days only. Now, I can say I'm pretty well adjusted. I eat alone, walk alone, and it doesn't bother me. It just takes time to make a new place feel like your new home. I think, I accomplished that part already.
My quaint house is at the center of white beach. Just beside DMall, behind Budget Mart. I have my own kitchen, bathroom and bed. Those are neccessities. The only luxury I have are two items, MP4 player with speakers and an automatic hotpot which I find very useful for making hot water for coffee, cooking noodles and reheating food. ARYT!
I am half the bum I was when I got here. Now, my itenerary includes teaching a kid to read. Marungko style of course.
A friend is coming over soon. I am assuming in a few days. At last, I can party again. lol. Yeah, that's true, I don't go out a lot. I don't get drunk everynight.
That's all for now. Net is expensive here.

Life Begins at Boracay

2007-05-06T15:23:00.001+08:00

I moved in to Boracay on May 2, 2007. I decided to live here finally -at least for a long while. My plan is to look for a teaching job here. I submitted my resume to Brent International School and NVC International Preschool. Tomorrow I'll submit an application to Bloomfield. I hope I get accepted in any of those schools.

Plan B is spend my savings.

No luck yet on Plan A so I'm on Plan B mode which sucks.

I'm enjoying the activities here so far. Ultimate Tournament is held here in Boracay. I partied with them too. Its fun but that fun never failed to nag me that when this group is back in Manila..how am I going to fare here.

Last night, Indio I performed at Summer Place. Hella crowd. Reminds me of Xaymaca, Timog that I miss so much.

It gets a little lonely. A friend of mine (a local, as well) told me that to survive living in Boracay, I've got to learn how to party alone.... hmmm how's that. Although it makes sense but I am not sure I can.

Don't get me wrong, I love it here. It's just that I am lonely. Although I have made friends with the local Bombom's crew, I don't know... I'm shy after all pala. hahaha

Synchronized Wave Chasers

2007-04-13T15:06:00.001+08:00

This is the most candid shot I got on file. Please vote for this photo on clickthecity.com (5 YELLOW stars sana please =D)

YELLOW YELLOW YELLOW

FUCK YOU ARCHIE

2007-03-23T15:39:00.001+08:00

I'm still here in Boracay. We, Leinielle, Titan and I, missed the boat because I suffered severe hang-over. LIKE I'm DEAD the minute I drank FUCK YOU ARCHIE drink from CLUB PARAW. DON'T EVER TRY IT. IT'S POISON! hahaha

SERIOUSLY.

I'm leaving the island on Monday. It's has been week since I got here and I should really hurry up and go home. But I'm enjoying every minute of it here, skimboarding all day, party all night. I'm thinking of working here. hmmmm... kelangan mag paalam sa parents. hahahaha

I Quit - RECANTING!!!

2007-02-27T03:19:00.002+08:00

Yet again, I am humbled.

Why does it happen this way. This way: when you lose something, that the time you see how valuable that was.

I quit work. (Now I lack discipline, hardwork, patience, perseverance and the list goes on and on) I quit work because my weekends are gone. I work 6 days in a week. I only have Sunday but saan naman ako makakapunta (out of town) kung Sunday lang ang pahinga?

So Quit I did.

After a week of not working, here's what I realized. The trade off. MY FUTURE DREAMS. Damn shit.

I feel even worse, a friend of mine told me, "well, the best breaks in life are always disguising as hardwork, or sacrafice, or burden...but if u really take the opportunity and face it head on u wil realiz dat its really worth the trip. Besides, its not the destination that matters most but the journey. U just figure out what u want in life and u will be happy. GOOD LUCK"

Please give me back my work. I'll stop complaining.

In Two Words

2007-02-21T14:45:00.003+08:00

I'M HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just Another Boy Issue

2007-02-20T14:19:00.002+08:00

I'm probably wrong. Wrong about everything that happened that night. So i'll stop looking back to it and stop wondering what might have happened. It's making me crazy.

2007-02-16T03:12:00.002+08:00

What if you were confronted by love when you least expect it, how would you respond?
Will you wait months and see what happens? Even knowing the fact that the longer the wait, the interest dies a natural death?

Passion is like a dark room with only a lit candle. If you do not have enough candles to replace the spent one, there's just no way in keeping the room lit. You spark another flame to sustain passion. Waiting does nothing to make things happen.

That's it to me. Waiting bores me. I don't understand why you have to wait until the he reveals his feelings first before you do?

I am not clueless and that I know shouldn't...
Because guys love to chase.
Because your love might not be requited.
Because Because Because you'll get hurt hurt hurt.

aw.. but still.

Three Cursed Hours

2007-02-15T00:07:00.002+08:00

Three cursed hours. Three hours and my life is disoriented. I do not even know how to end this paragraph after two glasses of vino rosso and three spent cigarettes.

Although those hours crippled me in some way, I would not take it back.

I felt fate played a good one on me this time. I took a year of sabbatical from the monotony of work and took solace from different shores and wondered about a crazy man who would leave the city and live simply. I gave up on it. Only to meet him on my last night of my sabbatical year.

We only have three hours.

Parting is such sweet sorrow.

I met him but I am bound to leave.

How could he know the right introduction. He could have introduced himself as what he does for a living and I wouldn't be so drawn to him. But he introduced himself as the crazy man who left the city to live in Bora and I finally met the man I wondered about all year long. Just when I'm ready to let it go.

I'm back in Manila. But my thoughts are like little sailboats that are lifted from their anchors and the wind blows them farther from the shore from where I am and sails closer to where he is. But I am just dreaming. The wind is not an ally but a temptress. A treacheous one.

In reality, my fascination is just that. In reality, im the crazy one not him. In reality, I do not consider those hours cursed but enchanted.

Fate is fate but it was I who smiled and it was him who ran after me.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Of Plato and Neruda

2007-02-13T02:12:00.002+08:00

There are many lores about the nature of man. Human beings as male and female. I do not seek the scientific and the obvious reason of our existence. It the nature of humans of restlessness that interests me. Why we have the need to go places. The urge to move and seek for something we are not certain of in the first place -we wander, wander and wander until we feel lost but on the contrary we are so close to what we sought after without any clue. This one is my favorite. It is an attempt to understand why we do what we do.

As Plato would have it, here it goes.

The original human nature was not like how it is now, but different. The sexes were not two as they are now but three to be exact; the man, the woman and the union of the two. There was a name for this double nature of man but it was lost and the only preserved word to it, that is known to most of us, is 'Androgynous'.

The primeval man was round; his back and sides forming a circle; and he had four hands and four feet, one head with two faces, looking opposite ways, set on a round neck and precisely alike; also four ears, two reproductive organs, and the remainder to correspond. He could walk upright as men now do, backwards or forwards as he pleased, and he could also roll over and over at a great pace, turning on his four hands and four feet, eight in all, like tumblers going over and over with their legs in the air; this was when he wanted to run fast.

Now the sexes were three, and such as I have described them; because the sun, moon, and earth are three; and the man was originally the child of the sun, the woman of the earth, and the man-woman of the moon, which is made up of sun and earth, and they were all round and moved round and round like their parents. Terrible was their might and strength, and the thoughts of their hearts were great, and they made an attack upon the gods. The celestial councils were gathered. Should they kill the mortals they took care of or not but at last, after a good deal of reflection, Zeus discovered a way.

He said: " I think I have a plan which will humble their pride and improve their manners; men shall continue to exist, but I will cut them in two and then they will be diminished in strength and increased in numbers; this will have the advantage of making them more profitable to us. They shall walk upright on two legs, and if they continue insolent and will not be quiet, I will split them again and they shall hop about on a single leg."

He spoke and cut men in two, like a sorb-apple which is halved for pickling, or as you might divide an egg with a hair; and as he cut them one after another, he bade Apollo give the face and the half of the neck a turn in order that the man might contemplate the section of himself: he would thus learn a lesson of humility. Apollo was also bidden to heal their wounds and compose their forms. So he gave a turn to the face and pulled the skin from the sides all over that which in our language is called the belly, like the purses which draw in, and he made one mouth at the centre, which he fastened in a knot (the same which is called the navel); he also moulded the breast and took out most of the wrinkles, much as a shoemaker might smooth leather upon a last; he left a few, however, in the region of the belly and navel, as a memorial of the primeval state.

After the division the two parts of man, each desiring his other half, came together, and throwing their arms about one another, entwined in mutual embraces, longing to grow into one, they were on the point of dying from hunger and self-neglect, because they did not like to do anything apart; and when one of the halves died and the other survived, the survivor sought another mate, man or woman as we call them, -- being the sections of entire men or women, -- and clung to that. They were being destroyed, when Zeus in pity of them invented a new plan: he turned the parts of generation round to the front, for this had not been always their position, and they sowed the seed no longer as hitherto like grasshoppers in the ground, but in one another; and after the transposition the male generated in the female in order that by the mutual embraces of man and woman they might breed, and the race might continue; or if man came to man they might be satisfied, and rest, and go their ways to the business of life: so ancient is the desire of one another which is implanted in us, reuniting our original nature, making one of two, and healing the state of man. Each of us when separated, having one side only, like a flat fish, is but the indenture of a man, and he is always looking for his other half. Men who are a section of that double nature which was once called Androgynous are lovers of women; adulterers are generally of this breed, and also adulterous women who lust after men: the women who are a section of the woman do not care for men, but have female attachments; the female companions are of this sort. But they who are a section of the male follow the male, and while they are young, being slices of the original man, they hang about men and embrace them, and they are themselves the best of boys and youths, because they have the most manly nature. Some indeed assert that they are shameless, but this is not true; for they do not act thus from any want of shame, but because they are valiant and manly, and have a manly countenance, and they embrace that which is like them. And these when they grow up become our statesmen, and these only, which is a great proof of the truth of what I am saying. When they reach manhood they are lovers of youth, and are not naturally inclined to marry or beget children, -- if at all, they do so only in obedience to the law; but they are satisfied if they may be allowed to live with one another unwedded; and such a nature is prone to love and ready to return love, always embracing that which is akin to him.

And when one of them meets with his other half, the actual half of himself, whether he be a lover of youth or a lover of another sort, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy, and will not be out of the other's sight, as I may say, even for a moment: these are the people who pass their whole lives together; yet they could not explain what they desire of one another. For the intense yearning which each of them has towards the other does not appear to be the desire of lover's intercourse, but of something else which the soul of either evidently desires and cannot tell, and of which she has only a dark and doubtful presentiment. Suppose Hephaestus, with his instruments, to come to the pair who are lying side by side and to say to them, "What do you people want of one another?" they would be unable to explain. And suppose further, that when he saw their perplexity he said: "Do you desire to be wholly one; always day and night to be in one another's company? for if this is what you desire, I am ready to melt you into one and let you grow together, so that being two you shall become one, and while you live a common life as if you were a single man, and after your death in the world below still be one departed soul instead of two -- I ask whether this is what you lovingly desire, and whether you are satisfied to attain this?" -- there is not a man of them who when he heard the proposal would deny or would not acknowledge that this meeting and melting into one another, this becoming one instead of two, was the very expression of his ancient need.

And the reason is that human nature was originally one and we were a whole, and the desire and pursuit of the whole is called love. I believe that if our loves were perfectly accomplished, and each one returning to his primeval nature had his original true love, then our race would be happy. And if this would be best of all, the best in the next degree and under present circumstances must be the nearest approach to such a union; and that will be the attainment of a congenial love. Wherefore, if we would praise him who has given to us the benefit, we must praise the god Love, who is our greatest benefactor, both leading us in this life back to our own nature, and giving us high hopes for the future, for he promises that if we are pious, he will restore us to our original state, and heal us and make us happy and blessed.

"I love you without knowing how, when or from where

I love you straightforwardly, without complexities nor pride

So I love you because I know no other way

than this: where there is no you or I

so close that your hand in my chest, is my hand

so close that when you close your eyes, I fall asleep"

-Pablo Neruda

Island Boy

2007-02-09T03:03:00.003+08:00

When I met him, it was the longest three hours of my life. The longest three hours that I don't want to miss out. It had to be the longest, it just had to be.

There were only a few people in Bom Bom's beach front last night. He was one of them. He was oddly sitting alone just a table away from us. Dragging a cig, hitting his bongos, laughing aloud, appears to be cuing the performers on stage, also appears to be minding us.

I was dying to light a cig too but the smart me forgot to bring lighter. I lit it one from the next table's candle. He did notice my odd behavior and comically commented, "Miss ingat ka, baka masunog kilay mo." Ofcourse, I found it funny and I laughed.

I admit, I took subtle glances at him because he was odd too. Loud and too homey. And he caught me several times. But maybe this is how it happened, he was stealing looks at us and I caught him several times. But who are we fooling? We both looked and both caught.

When I went inside the bar, he followed suit but he didn't speak to me. He just ah-looked. But I think I flashed him a smile and went back to the beach front with my company.

We were the last people to leave Bom Bom's and I thought it ends there.

We were heading already and a few meters farther from Bom Bom's he caught up with us. He introduced himself, I extended my hand and introduced everyone. It was really funny when I introduced my sister's bf because he acted like he was hit hard by something and said to me "Oh, you have a bf already" -that was funny.

When we reached home, I don't want him to go yet so I asked him to come in with us and I didn't wait for him to say no. He asked for coffee and cake as a joke but theres coffee and cake to be served and I served him a cup and a slice.

He met my family. It felt like he was a suitor being sized up. I like it. He was very corteous and amiable but he's sexy to me.

I'm really drawn to him. He's such a character. I only met him then but I'd like to know him more. He didn't take advantage of me even when we were alone but I knew it was due to his fear of the guards patrolling around. hahaha

We talked. He told me he's been staying in Bora for 9 months and has never been inside the place we were staying. He sounded so amazed about the structure of the house so I toured him by myself. I showed him the rooms, he commented about the lamp, the ceiling, the walls, the interior of each room but he didn't comment about the controversial Intercourse painting hanging on wall.

The Dawn

2007-02-02T15:41:00.001+08:00

I'm not really a city girl. I live in a city but there isn't a day that I dream of coconuts, sand and sea. I've fantasized about living in Boracay for months or even years but I never did dare to do so alone. It is too risky for a lady to live alone in a paradise so alive with tourist, booze, bars, and you know what else might happen. I admit I am scared but I am not foolish to think that I am invincible. I am human and a woman and at that...fragile.

I took a year of self-proclaimed sabbatical. Hoping to find someone to join me in my madness to leave the city. I never found him. I never left the city. I guess, I really am the impulsive stubborn nut to nurse these fantasies of waking up every morning or afternoon (as I usually do) and the beach is so inviting. Swim. skim. surf. and yes of course work.

How time flies, a year has passed. I never found him. I never found someone insane enough to bite my fantasy. It's too crazy to be real...maybe...but possible.

I went to Boracay last Sunday. Trying to maximize the four days of stay there. I know when I get to Manila, I'll start working again... so I gotta immerse myself in this paradise.

Everything is wonderful as it is. There's just one thing, Soy Soltera. Why am I always alone on a paradise.

On our last night, I wanted to feast on the reggae vibe and booze. On that same night, the moon was round and full. On that same night, I met him. I met the fool who left the city to live in Boracay.

Hours.
Time passed.
The conversation carried on long...longer
It was the longest dialogue, enchanting as an epic.

Touch.
He stroked his palm across the henna tattoo inked on my back.
I want to feel it all over again.

He left at dawn.

I left Boracay.

Then he said,
"We will meet again, I'm sure."

and that, I know.

What's Your Seduction Style?

2007-02-02T15:33:00.000+08:00

Stop Chasing Me

2007-01-24T08:29:00.002+08:00

"Stop chasing me...
if you have no intention of catching me"
Callie to George (Grey's Anatomy)

Whoah.
Enough said.

Lecheng Mind Games Yan

2007-01-20T08:54:00.001+08:00

I don't like mind games but
I will play it if you lead.
Invite me to your board of choice,
if you think u can play it better than me.
Do not blame me when you suffer.

because I don't like mind games at all
but I'll play it with you.
you got me into this after all.

Just Me and My Books

2007-01-14T02:37:00.002+08:00

Such a lazy lazy day.
No dates.
No poker game.
No casino.

Just me and my books.

I've just finished The Amateur by R. Littell. I'm reading Angels and Demons by you know who =)

I Spent It All

2007-01-08T06:23:00.001+08:00

It was a crazy Sunday. With a kick of sponteneity, my friends Nikko, Diobs and Ross found our way to Casino Filipino to play Bakarat.

We set rules that we should only shell out P500 each and if we doubled up, we should stop OR we just have to play for an hour.

Nothing of those rules were not broken...... in just 15 minutes. Well, I ended up buying P1000 worth of chips. I got lucky and doubled and doubled even more.. but that just about the amount greed is capable of taking away from me.

In other words I lost.

But in a funny way.

We just laughed our way out of the Casino and our merry ride home singing ...

"I don't practice Santeria
I ain't got no crystal ball
Well I had a million dollars but I,
I'd spend it all"
-- Sublime

Candies

2007-01-04T04:01:00.001+08:00

I've been idle on blogger because I don't know if I should be telling this but guess what, I figured I'm telling anyway. hahaha -but I ain't telling names.

I felt like confessing.

"Father, I think I have sinned. Taking candies I think I'm not allowed but I liked it. Without remorse, just gratification."

Don't we take candies just for gratification and not to think about how much sugar we are supposed to get from it? Well sometimes, against parental approval we sneak candies. SOMETIMES! NOT EVERYDAY.

Haaay.

2007

2007-01-03T01:54:00.002+08:00

2006 was a good year of leisure and 2007 will be a year of taking things seriously... you know, find a job and study too.

that kind of seriousness.

I Smell Hmmhum Candy

2006-12-24T08:20:00.001+08:00

"I smell sex and candy here,
who's that lounging in my chair
who's that casting devious stares
into my direction
Mama this surely is a dream"
-Marcy Playground

It kept playing on my mind. I do know S & C when I smell one.

Too bad I can't see him anymore. He's not bad, it is just that he reminds me of an ex which is not a good hit. Not at all. I don't fancy being reminded of a past flame. I'm not hating or anything, it is more drawn to the lines of awkwardness and disturbing.

Just being true people, No way I can go on seeing him at the same time, think of another person. Ahhh, too much resemblance! That's too bad.

I don't eat candies everyday but when I do, I enjoy it...and I had my christmas candy! lol Don't go grouching on me now.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Outgrow

2006-12-04T13:53:00.002+08:00

Sometimes we outgrow friends.

2006-12-04T01:51:00.002+08:00

"Guys are so easy"
- Brooke Davis, One Tree Hill

I don't need bullshit.

I wonder why my life isn't so complicated. It's like 'a hit or miss. Hit it then good, miss it then try next time or try another one. Is that an abnormal point of view in life?

Here's a revelation, all of my friends found their ika nga "nawawalang pares ng tsinelas" ("missing pair of slippers") but me. Shitty curse.

What a manifestation of my my boring life. Look at me, I'm sinking...no superman to save me. Fucker. But ofcourse, I had to live and got to the sea surface to catch breath and the reality of this misery... got on my board on my own "lonely" self.

There was just so nasty tall waves this weekend, not the kind a professional advice to a novice surfer to ride. Although I did dare and dared at the cost of my life. My life flashed before my eyes when I got wiped out. Not a pleasant experience.

I did quote Brooke Davis above, just shit. Guys are so easy. They all want fuck. Give in or not, they want fuck. I've never had a serious relationship in a long time (is something wrong with me?) The duration is just alarming. MORE THAN THREE YEARS.

I'm a well adjusted "single" by now, i just kind of "right now" missing cuddling. I don't want being so indepented all my life!!! But I don't dream of settling for flings.

Flings. I thought I had one right now, apparently, he did back out on our special day. So scratch him off my list. That's ok though, but while this issue is boiling today, it was not so big a deal that it happened because I keep figuring out my friends' relationship issues -I'm placing my friends' issues than mine...because it is just a question of desire...gusto or ayaw and that is it.

Maybe this is just an emotional episode. I went surfing with a couple and I kind of miss the feeling of in a relationship. Just really missing the sincerity, caring, cuddling part... it's been so damn long.

Guys are so easy, but no one said loving someone is so hard. Hard to say, I think I'm inlove with you. Just so darn hard.

I did tell my crushies that I like them but you see the result:

EMPTINESS.

Sure I can sleep with anyone I want to but... I want love and those things are two different things. I want love, why am I getting fucks? I'm not even a player.

===

Just earlier, I got home from Zambales even met my hunky crushie and turned out to be with someone already. HEARTBREAKING! but its ok, just a crushie not a lover. But you know, it is downright painful knowing that you've been uhmm scratched off.

GANUN TALAGA.

Konti nalang papatol na ako sa babae talaga minus the drama.

Gone Surfing

2006-11-30T21:05:00.001+08:00

"Uy, pasencya na. Late ako.
Pero malapit na ako. Hintay lang."
- Bagyong Reming

Alam kong super bagyo ang parating pero mahirap itago ang tuwa ko sa pagdating ng bagyo dahil ibigsabihin mataas ang alon. Lakasan na ng loob yan sa pag surf. Wala na tong urungan

Sana lang hindi gaano kalakas para muling mapinsala ang mga ciudad at probinsyang dadaanan nito. Sana lang talaga...dahil nakokonsenya ako dahil masaya ako kasi may bagyo... hehehehe

GONE SURFING ...

Isang Gabi sa Nippon Maru

2006-11-28T16:21:00.001+08:00

Ang Nippon Maru sa North Harbor

Dumaong ang Nippon Maru sa North Harbor at bilang consolasyon at pampagana, naimbitahan akong maghapunan sa Nippon Maru kagabi. Consolasyon dahil di ako nakasama sa SSEAYP 2006 Delegation at pampagana dahil magpapasa na ako ng application ng mas maaga para sa susunod na delegation.

Naisip ko na ang pagikot at paglakbay sa 5 bansa sa Asya lulan ng isang malaking Barko ay hindi magandang ideya sapagkat ako'y allergic at asthmatic sa maraming bagay. Pero naisip ko rin na ang pagiging allergic at asthmatic ay overused excuse na para sakin. hehehe. (idagdag pa ang pagiging late)

Nailarawan ko sa aking isipan na ang barko ay hindi ligtas na transportasyon. Nakasakay narin kasi ako ng barko at hindi maganda ang ala-ala ko don (First Impression, lasts.) Sa unang paglakbay ko ng karagatan, ang dumi ng ship cabins, yung bintana ng cabin nadrowingan naming magpipinsan papuntang Boracay...at pauwi pagkatapos ng isang linggo, nandun parin ang drowing na lumulubog na ship. Gumegewang-gewang ang barko sa lakas ng hangin habang pumapalaot magdamag. Mejo hindi komportable talaga.

Pero iba ang Nippon Maru. Ang Nippon Maru ay isang 3 Star Cruise Ship at mula sa Japan. Alam kong 5 stars ang pinakamataas na antas ng luxury pero sa nakita ko sa Nippon Maru, masaya na ako sa 3 stars.

Nais ko sanang libutin ang barkong Nippon Maru ngunit sabi nga ni Frankie "Bata" Ong ang presidente ng SSEAYP Philippines "Everything has changed since 9-11", mahigpit ang seguridad sa loob ng Nippon Maru. Sa lobby at ballroom suite lang ang maaring pasyalan. Ok narin dahil ang pagtitiis ay ayon sa kaligtasan ng lahat naman.

Gusto kong mapabilang sa susunod na paglayag ng Nippon Maru.

Bakuran Ng Magpipinsan

2006-11-25T00:08:00.001+08:00

Sa bakuran lang ng magpipinsan, marami ang nangyayari. Minsan nagugulat na lang ako sa lahat ng aming pinagbago. Heto na siguro yung transisyon mula inosenteng bata tungo sa nagmamaalam-alam na binata at dalaga.

May kanya-kanya ng sikreto na kapwa nabibisto ng magpinsan pero ayos lang yan... ganyan lang talaga ang samahan ng magpipinsan.

Tamang salo lang.
Tamang good time.

Di parin ako sanay na nagmamatandaan kami. Feeling ko pag nagkikita kaming magpipinsan.... bata parin kami na nag te-train sa hagdanan, nag bebed-sleigh ride mula sa top step ng hagdanan, umaakyat ng poste ng swing para magchill, nagka-kamias/toyo/asukal/asin trip, maglakad mula bahay hangang Glori (na ngayon ay Champion na) para hanapin ang pangalan sa robee stickers na palagi namang wala ang pangalan ko Jasmin or Jam.

Iba na ngayon.
Iba na ang trip ngayon.

Layu-layo narin ang mga bahay namin. Nasa San Diego, NY, Auckland, Toronto, Pennsylvania, San Beda Village at ang home base Teachers Village. Layu-layo na talaga kaya kada kita namin ang daming nagbabago parang hindi ko na sila kilala. Ganun din ata ang tingin nila...pero ayos lang. Embrace change as it happens...ika nga.

Basta nagkikita.
Kahit ang mga nasa homebase at San Beda Village nalang ang nagkikita isang beses sa isang buwan.

Aalis pa kaya ako ng bansa?

Am I Boring You?

2006-11-23T23:06:00.001+08:00

I think I'm getting old and boring.

I'm a frigid 24 years old soltera...yep no boyfriend. (although, I value my "ME" time, sometimes I want "cuddling" time...please don't tell me to look at the bright side of being single because seriously... I've lived those happy days and I'm yearning for love at the moment --ewww cheesy).

Love is elusive. I'm not literally chasing it but in fact, I'm staying still hoping it decides to rest on me. But not a shit does it... not even a shit dares to come near me --but that's a lie.

I get asked out on a date but it doesn't seem right. I'm really careful now about dating after I dated a good looking colleague which conveniently forgot to say he's married and a father of two and his wife is on her third pregnancy. Nasty. If it is any improvement, a perv friend, a highschool boy, and a friend who is a single parent are pursuing me. I don't know..it still looks nasty to me.

It's quite interesting that I'm feeling sulky about my soltera status. (Si Marco kasi e may girlfriend na. hahahaha)

Nakakagagong Quotes

2006-11-15T03:49:00.001+08:00

Quote a Thing, is this the new sms/txting fad?

I received these messages from friends. Notable quotes from everyday objects and people. Mejo nakakagago lang talaga

"Hindi lahat ng malakas ay superhero" - putok
"Pano tyo makakabuo kung hindi ako papatong sa 'yo?" -lego
"Bad news, may dengue ako" - lamok
"Sige magpakasasa ka! Alam ko naman katawan lang ang habol mo sa akin" -hipon
"Wag po natin salubungin ang mga bumababa, di po natin sila kamaganak" -LRT Operator

Gusto ko lang sabihin sila na

"Wag mo akong subukan" -lason
"Ipasok mo ako sa tamang butas" -basura
"Di mo ako matitiis" - LBM
"Sige, huthot lang ng huthot" - wallet

Cinemanila and Cine Europa

2006-11-12T19:28:00.003+08:00

bIf you have missed the Cinemanila early shows this year (CCP and UP Theatre) , it is not too late to catch it until November 15, 2oo6 at SM Cinemas (Mall of Asia -Cinema 6; Megamall -Cinema 12 and SM North Edsa -The Block Cinema 2). Ticket price is P100 (P50 for students). More details on film scheds . Visit 8th Cinemanila International Film Festival Website for other events like seminars/workshops on film or screen writing.

Don't miss it, For Pedro's sake.

Simultaenously, the Delegation of the European Commission to the Philippines is hosting the Cine Europa from November 9 - 19, 2006 at Shangri-la (Shaw Blvd.). Featuring contemporary and critically acclaimed films from different European Countries (Austria, Belgium, Czech Republic, Spain, France, Finland, Germany, Netherlands, Portugal, Sweden and UK). FREE ADMISSION.

Come an hour earlier than the screening time to ensure you get seats. You'll thank me with this advice.

I'm Type B, Apparently

2006-11-10T03:45:00.001+08:00

I don't know if I've heard of Meyer Friedman back in Psych 101 but it seems my hippocampus is not capable of associating the name with his contribution to the wonderful realm of psychology (tut tut tut).

But anyway, Ate Kim (my so hot cousin) re-introduced me to Friedman and his buddy Rosenham who lived the better days of 1950's. They developed the Type A and Type B personality which later pursued their happy tripping with more experiment about the connection between these personality types and the risk of stroke and CHD (Crappy Heart Disease, ok it's C for Coronary).

Type A Personality Displays these Behaviors:

1. Insatiable desire to achieve their goals
2. Strong willingness to compete in all situations
3. Strong desire for recognition and advancement
4. Desire to multitask under time constraints
5. Always in a rush to finish activities
6. Above average mental and physical alertness
7. Feeling insecure about their current possessions, source of income etc..
8. A strong sense of guilt when spending their time idly

Type B Personality Displays these Behaviors:

1. Relaxed
2. Likelier than a Type A personality to be patient
3. Creative and imaginative
4. Inclined to self-analyze

Ate Kim claims to be Type A and accuses me to be Type B (but she's got a point, hear what's playing on my blog? -Que sera, sera). I was Type A but then got fatigued and decided to live the "Hakuna Matata" life until I get tired hanging out with Pumba and Simone (and that's sooooon).

But apparently, there is another personality type and consider it call of times. Accodring to a certain hooligan, Dr. Simeon Margolis of the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine there's another personality type, Type D. Individuals who fall on Type D Personality are prone to stroke and Coronary Heart Disease than Type A and it is not hard to see why.

Type D Personality Experiences the following Negative Emotions:

1. Hostility
2. Anger
3. Surliness
4. Rudeness
5. Depression
6. Anxiety
7. Tension
8. Negative Self-Perception

Surprisingly theres no Type C yet. Type D stands for "Distressed"

Are you Type D?

I'm definitely not Type D.

=========
So if someone goes loco on you...y' know, rude angry, hostile, downer ... just say "You're not my type" or "Don't go Type D on me, coz I'm so Type B."

hmm, that was plain corny.

SURFING

2006-10-25T02:33:00.001+08:00

It is never too late to learn a new skill.

Never too late to learn surfing and

Never too late to make animated photos

I "giffed" the photos sent to me by stonemoney surf of my first wave at Zambales! yay!

The Major Problem in the Philippines

2006-10-20T05:07:00.001+08:00

The major problem of my country, Philippines,is not poverty, not malnutrition,not poor education,and not even terrorism. These are simply the long-term consequences resulting from the incessant poor judgement of individuals having state authority on matters of priority and importance.

The problem in my country is graft and corruption. Philippines ranked third (next to Vietnam and Indonesia) as the most corrupt country in Asia based on PERC. What does it indicate? Many things. Perhaps, we elect our leaders inefficiently; But granting that the elected leaders possess great desire to serve and contribute to our nation building, can that individual dare not be swayed into temptation of filling their pockets with public funds? Or perhaps our leaders do not realize the magnitude of their power to free majority of Filipinos of oppression and poverty. It takes discipline, I guess, to see greater happiness beyond self-gratification (that always leads to the state of dissatisfaction because one's pocket is never full of peso, so you put in another..then another...really, it is never enough). The Dalai Lama of Tibet speaks of a potent antidote to our country's problem. It is contentment. May our corrupt leaders wish to seek contentment and find it, ASAP.

National Politics is not a dirty game, although, I think it has become that. But by definition, it is the science of governing a country -- I assume that it is for the best interest of the country and not the deterioration of one. I hope politicians keep this in mind or write a note and carry it in their pockets always to remind them of their sworn pledge.

Then, when everything is in perspective, we can find a way to elevate family economics, allocate and distribute food and nutrition services, endorse quality education, and appease terrorists whom I believe are fighting for their basic needs that were neglected by the government for a very discouraging and depressing long time.

It is not sacrifice that I am expecting from politicians, it is just their full use of their intelligence and conscience for the stimulation of national growth.

Hello Technorati

2006-10-13T13:58:00.000+08:00

Technorati Profile

One is good, More is better?

2006-10-13T01:42:00.001+08:00

One is good, More is better?

I just thought that maybe greed is the driving force in today's culture. It should have been love ofcourse but, really... is it, still? I am not arguing that there's no love left in the world or people have grown to be evil than good these days. Love exist and good/evil exist just as much; for we cannot know good if there is no evil to define it and vice-versa.

Greed. The need to want more or believing we need more than what we already have. The "I need more love, I want more love" attitude.

This is my opinion and I don't want to cause trouble, 'just stating my confusion and views on this different kind of relationship.

POLYAMORY - loving more than one. (the definition is a bit loose, but ideally, that's that)

I've seen it on media -broadcasted, published, discussed on forums, internet. It rings pseudo to me. I will not argue about it being regarded as cheating because individuals in such relationships do not claim to be monogamous in the first place. I guess, its just a preference and I'm being conservative on this issue.

But to me, it is a pseudo relationship. There may be several people that are suitable for me but I have to choose just one to build a special bond of intimacy with just that person.

"I have many needs and 'she' cannot fill everything, that's why I need another person to fill the other needs." - could this be a sign of insatiability? One partner isn't just enough.

But whatever Polyamory is, I think it depends on one's comfort level. It is a complicated relationship -AHA, so that's what it means on friendster, then??!
And to stabilize a complicated relationship must be a hard task -dealing with jealousy, for one thing. Polyamorous people say that it is all about "openness and effective communication."

I'm still hopeful to get that "openness and effective communication" on a monogamous relationship. When it comes, I'd rather say, "I need you" than say, "You are not enough for me."

The Story of Avdohol

2006-09-22T00:54:00.001+08:00

It was, yet again, another great after dinner coffee with Mac. The Macchiato tastes good as we both exchanged "how-are-you's", "what-have-you been-up-to"and "what's-stressing-you-at-the-moment".

He confided his heartbreaking and shocking end of a lovestory. I never thought it culd be that shameful but I guess, it is all for the best -we never know. I told him that my application for the Asian Youth Forum 2006 (Jakarta, Indonesia) on October 12-13 stands so little chance of making it since it was handed over a week later of the deadline. (....... I really want to be part of that forum).

Then after a while, well, to be honest, we were arguing about the importance of one Millenium Development Goal-Promote Gender Equality andEmpower Women. I see his point that the issue can get annoyingly cliche since in our country it is not much of problem but I think the issue still needs to be adresssed globally -think about the women from Sudan, Egypt Somalia and the rest of the 28 African Countries who are bound to "cruelty" due to custom and religion but I guess in the end, he feels my cause and began to tell another interesting story.

This time, he relayed the life of one African girl. Born into a life of a nomadic and poverty-stricken land of Somalia, the young Avdohol still had the freedom to enjoy nature's best wonders --watching fierce lions napping, running with the zebras, giraffes and foxes. As a child, she was happy.

Growing up as an African woman is hard. At five years old, Avdohol had the most excruciating experience of having her clitoris cut with a broken blood stained razor blade. The remaining flesh were poked by thorns and sewn together, leaving only a tiny hole (similar to a circumference of a matchstick) for peeing and (later on) menstrual blood to pass. That being said, she was still lucky for many African girls suffered complications, infections and some died because of this practice.

At the age of thirteen, she was arranged to be married to an old man of 60 by her father in exchange of five camels. Avdohol did not want to be married and decided to run away.

One night, her mother woke her and told her to run away to escape her marriage while everyone is sleeping. She left and ran across the desert. She ran even faster as her father managed to find her by following her trail on the sand. She stopped until she realized that her father did not chase her anymore.

Tired, hungry, thirsty and beaten by the African sun she rested under a tree only to be awaken by gnarling sound -that of a lion. The lion eyed her and Avdohol stared back at the predator. Then feeling that her journey across the desert has come to an end, unafriad and ready to die; she said to the lion, "Come and get me, I am ready." Thinking of how the beast would crush her bones and tear her flesh apart, it was odd that the lion turned and walked away.

Avdohol realized that the lion was not going to kill her, she knew that God had plans for her. She sought for that reason and carried on with her journey.

She lived from relative to relative, did household chores in exchange of her up keep, even worked in a construction site -carrying heavy sacks of sand and gravel. Then lived as a maid for the Somalian Ambassador in London. In London, she was seen by a man and was given a calling card (although, at that time, she could not understand English yet so she doesn't know what the man wanted from her). The time came when the Ambassador's term ended and had to go back to Somalia. She stayed behind, not knowing where to go and what to do but she managed to survive and educate herself -she learned english.

One day, she chanced upon the old calling card the man gave her and contacted him finally. He happens to be a photographer. Avdohol went to his studio and he took pictures of her. When Avdohol saw the herself, she did not recognize herself -she could not see the Avdohol the maid but what she saw in the polariod was a different person, it was Avdohol the model.

After that, life came sweeter as a super model but still haunted by her past-her most deepest secret: her circumcision or what we call now Female Genital Mutilation (FGM). She went into a surgery to end her agony. Then she learned the reason why she survived the things she went through.

Avdohol, who is popularly known as Waris Dirie is the UN’s appointed Special Ambassador for the Elimination of Female Genital Mutilation. She has decided to break her years and years of silence to speak out to help save the lives of millions of women, young and old, across Africa and many other far eastern countries.

"Female Genital Mutilation has nothing to do with culture, tradition or
religion. It is a torture and a crime, which needs to be fought against."

Waris Dirie, UN-Special Ambassador

Essay Essay Essay

2006-09-20T01:22:00.001+08:00

Oh shit, deadlines! My paperwork is overdue. My application is overdue. My topic tips me off balance. Ghaaaaaaaaaaarsh, will I survive?

On the other hand, I only have 1 more task to do (so, I might as well top the cake with cherry anyway), My passport is ready and inspite of how my topic makes me nervous, I think it is the kind of nervousness brought by great anticipation.

So I am pushing for it.

Wish me luck!

Feed you the details some other time. I got some serious essay to do.

Be Miserable To Get Paid

2006-09-13T15:19:00.001+08:00

"Unfair daw to pay the teachers na nagstay sa Island Cove dahil nag-enjoy lang sila" (It is unfair to pay the teachers who spent two nights minding the Korean-without Dengue-students at Island Cove because the designated teachers seem to be enjoying it) --a context taken from a chit-chat with an ex-colleage from an English Academy suffering from bad karma right now as he quotes the words of the academy director.

I was one of the teachers assigned to mind the Korean students at Island Cove, the other teacher was Issa. Neither of was told or addressed directly regarding the academy's concern on our discetion and management.

I thought of approaching her to discuss the matter but I don't know...I have to find a way not to sound like a pompous ex-employee and make her sob. But I'm just assertive and it is often misinterpreted as arrogance. I take only what is due to me and nothing less, and the first thing due to every employee is respect from employers.

Going back to the comment, we don't deserve to be paid because we seem to be enjoying, I think that's a ton of bullshit. Since when can "enjoyment" be commanded by an employer? I certainly do not like to be commanded when to enjoy and when I can not. If so, employers should be regarded as individuals who minds and controls another's judgement and pays the employee for being miserable. I guess, in that academy -it rings true.

If all employers are like that, it is hard to tell who the real devil is even if it is snorting in front of you already. If all employers are like that, I'd rather go home and plant kamote (and be my own boss).

The English Academy hired me as a teacher and I earned that profession through acquiring four years of study and PRC license --and as that, I demand to be respected and appreciated and not insulted simply because I prefered to have a pleasurable time than worrying about something trivial. On the same note, I'd like to state that during our stay there, I never forgot about my duties and responsibilities as a teacher, and the same goes with Teacher Issa.

We had fun; the teachers as well as the adorable Korean kids. We maximized our stay at Island Cove. Toured the place, rode horses, swam, played a lot, tried outdoor chess, ate decent meals plus dessert too. We really took good care of them. The kids shouldn't not feel how miserable the conditions are(having four cases of Dengue Fever). It is just not right. Why make the rest of the kids suffer?

We had fun but it is no one's business but ourselves alone.

The Birthday Eve Virus

2006-09-08T00:22:00.001+08:00

I was about to write how terrible my eve of birthday came to be. I planned to watch BMR tonight because tomorrow they won't be anywhere in Manila. Then things got so screwed up to the point of cancellation -damn asthma and allergy. Usually, during one's birthday, the celebrant(or celebrator..kung ano mas trip mo) gets to blow cake candles --I, on the other hand, gets to sneeze and blow my rosy nose to the 24th bout (maybe more, but I stopped counting upto my 24th candle..i mean sneeze)

I need comfort food. I want to eat SHAWARMA!! somewhere near, say, Ababu and Shan (my nearest neighbor) is nursing a bad cold din.

I got to take medicine for allergy and asthma but I can't take it on an empty stomach. Took milk but I know it isn't enough. Nothing around here interests me, so I had a silly thought of dialing 8-mcdo and get some spaghetti, burgers, chicken and fries to fill my stomach. How tragic to spend my birthday eve this way.

But I don't have to...

Titan and Lei sent an sms [happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you ... you know how the song goes then ends with...we love you *muah*, dito kami Sams, BMR ka?]

So I won't be really spending the eve alone. Titan and Leins called then I found out that Candy and Toti are also with them...Deno to follow. Wooohoooo! Ababu na to!

I don't care what virus I'll spread there. Let's just call it, The Birthday Virus. I'll nag Toti to drop by 7o's Bistro just to peek who's there and who's not.

So cheesy to say this but....sniff sniff.... i love my friends.

All is Fair in Love and War

2006-09-03T23:18:00.001+08:00

During times of international conflict, Soldiers justify their slaughter of other people by believing "all is fair in love and war". In such war, it is "fair" to destroy Hiroshima because Japan would have done the same thing to the opponent.

This isn't a post regarding world history or war. Just a few thoughts on how "all is fair in love (and nothing to do with war)"

This is what I know, we have individual conflicts that we battle every minute. Each second is an instance to make a decision or an instance to waste undecided. There came a time when I was through with security -of just not taking a risk because I am scared to be left hanging, to be found needy and left unassisted. I wasted not only seconds but years before I decided to love again.

I know what I am laying on the line of fire. My heart and my emotional stability (that took me a long time to put back together after devasting breakups, one after the other and another). I know that, at some point, it was all a ruse --the attention you are showing me, the wanting, the passionate moments. I told you, I would never ask if all these were real because that would not be fair. I'll just wait and see. Then found your desire fluttering and I chased it while I still can but I never asked for you to retire your wings and stay. If I asked that of you, it would be unfair too.

I know your inner battle. Each second is an instance to make a decision or an instance to waste undecided. Like I, you have wasted years of holding back and the time has come for you to take your most desired moment -to have her by your side. There are three simple rules in conquering; 1. If you do not go after what you want, you will never have it. 2.If you do not ask, the answer will always be a no. 3. If you do not step forward, you will always be in the same place. Taking and losing is a matter of decision.

Without an inch of sarcasm and loathing, I'm at peace with how things went. All is fair in love and war.

Letting go of an unrequited love is not really hard to do, it only takes another second to decide to end the misery because wasting a few more seconds of indecision is self mutilation.

How Do You Count Days?

2006-08-31T16:15:00.001+08:00

The last quarter of 2006 is here.

Everyday that came and has gone is an entire day that I cannot take back and relive.
Everyday that came and has gone by is an entire day I lived without regrets.
Everyday that came and has gone by nags me to my obligation to work next year (hehehe)
Everyday that came and has gone by is another day that reminds me that all days are different --nothing happens ever the same.
Everyday that came and has gone by taught me the value of patience, hardwork, forgiveness, self worth, national pride, courage and love and sacrifice.
Everyday that came and has gone by is an entire day of basking on peace of mind.
Everyday that came and has gone by is mine.
You count your own days in your own way.

Woooohoooooooo!

2006-08-24T13:36:00.001+08:00

[singing... at last, my love has come along...]

It has arrived. Finally!! I woke up and found I got broadband internet. Whooooohooooooo! So, I checked all surfing pics from stonemoney, which were so good, listened to david's playlists, which I really find interesting. Downloaded Dindo's files, which were very interesting.

Download adsense just so I know how fast this net connection is. To my amazement, it is impressive.

ooooh my! this is really GREAT!!!!

Puso ng Carmelo Adventure

2006-08-23T23:29:00.002+08:00

I've been putting off my visit to Puso ng Carmelo Sisters in Rosario, La Union. I really want to do my own pilgrimage there. I've heard very little about it; however, little it may be, it is enough for me to want to be there. The short description is all I need --Retreat house by the sea.

I plan to go there on my 24th Birthday, September 8. No more excuses and reasons will I allow to interfere with my plan. I'm excited. KQ will join me in this abrupt backpack adventure.

I just want something different to spend my special day. Last year was so great. Most of my friends (different circles) were there, including Brownman Revival. It was a loud party. So, this year, I'm spending it in contemplation.

Although, I don't really know what to expect from Puso ng Carmelo Retreat House because there isn't really much picture going around the net. All I got from google are the following:

Puso ng Carmelo is managed by Carmelite nuns. They graciously accept food and medicines to be distributed to 1,000 sick and indigent people in La Union. (If you have the hand to help, contact Sis. Janelle at 0917 9516413)

and

They are happy to see visitors.

---------
I know it isn't much. But if you know helpful stuff about Rosario, La Union and Puso ng Carmelo just tell me =)

BINNED

2006-08-21T23:57:00.001+08:00

After 4 weeks of arduous toil for cash, I finally gained the luxury of time to relax and think about things to be spent on. Oh yes, it feels good.

In an intimate ritual with myself and peace of mind, I went through my cluttered stuff and justified every piece as either junk or essential. I admit, some are really hard to let go but the time has come for such things to go --i just know.

These are some items that I retrieved then decided to "RIP" into the trash bin:

Receipts - I have loads of them everywhere. Bank receipts, personal vouchers, food and beverages, concert tickets, gig nights, movies etc. These expense memories were all over the place to remind me that I've been...titling on my "saving skills". It is ironic to note that the reason why I kept these receipts (some are even aged and retrieved after 3 years) is to make me cautious on spending. I got to check myself on that more often.

An Old Photograph - Photographs are for keeping, really, but there are some photos that are best thrown away and forgotten. I found it again, this parcel of paper that feeds my contempt, my rebellion, my need for revenge... hokey, i hope you get the picture here...because I don't want to describe it some more. I always come across this picture when I decide to clean up. So once and for all, a decision has to be made; It is either I have to live hurt/anger (whichever comes first) through every time I see it or to bin it so I won't be feeling divided. I chose the one leading to forgiveness.

A Few Raffle Coupons, long due - Keeping them is a fit of madness. Why keep them if I have no use of them. I should have given it up and hand it to someone else instead. Chance, that is what it reminds me of. I get chances but hardly courageous enough to grab it and accept rewards graciously. Thus, "what ifs" are born.

A Three Year Old Charity Bond - I am ashamed. I haven't been true to my promise. Although it made me feel miserable (because it reminds me of my shortcomings), I am keeping this list to work it out.

The rest that were fated to be binned, were simply litter.

It felt nice.

Ko jo!

2006-08-18T23:53:00.001+08:00

Has it been four weeks already?

I've gotten attached to my Korean students; I've gotten accustomed to Korean food; I've grown an ear to catch a few Korean phrases and I found myself drawn closer to them as each day passes. Only to come to school, one day, and find out that the lessons that I am to teach is the last.

I whine. The first weeks at work, I whined about every detail --food, classroom set up, class schedule, and everything else. But I was not alone in whining, I whined with my stuudents. Thinking that two hours of study per subject is insanely tiring if not boring but as the final days are drawing nearer, two hours is such a short while to spend with them --it wasn't even enough.

I miss my outlaws and treasure hunters --Pirate Sam, Pirate Mike and Pirate Richard.

I miss my perverted students --Mark, Liz, Angella and Christina

I miss the bratty but adorable girls --Rosa1, Rosa2, Alice, Sarah, Reina and Angelina

I miss the young geniuses --Lily and Ivan

I miss the "fishermen" --Steve, Nick, Suji, Andrew, Eun Hee and Devin.

I miss the thoughtful ones --Anastacia, Susan-Mur, Sally

I miss the FingerQuoting students --Luke, Paul and Lidia.

I'll definetly get skype. WAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah I miss them!

Quotes To Go By

2006-07-30T01:32:00.002+08:00

Everything is falling into place.

Believing on something even when all odds are against you is hard to do. But when you do, your chance heightens.

Keeping faith and persevering on something will lead you to it.

I'm just happy.

I know We're Cool

2006-06-25T04:59:00.002+08:00

"I heard your voice. I think I still recognize it." would be the last sms I'll be sending to that anonymous caller.

I was watching the re-run of the Ghana- USA world cup match earlier when I heard my phone ring and it was unnamed. I took the call; apparently, it was an unintentional call because I over heard your conversation with friends and the going-ons around you --on the other end --you didn't notice I was eavesdropping.

I can't say I was irritated. I can't say I was pleased to hear that voice again. I was curious but at the same time certain that it was you.

Shit. I hanged up and found that prior to that call, I missed 5 calls from you. I shit even more. But giving the benefit of the doubt, I asked for your name -- an introduction perhaps -but nothing was reconciled.

My thoughts went into a time warp, the time when I thought things are going pretty well with us. Our first road trip together, when you said, "I was confused prior to this trip but now I know...It' s pretty clear that it is you;" then you kissed me "...let's take it slow."

I just said, "Ok."

I saw it coming, that you weren't pretty sure about us but I had faith in your words. So I brushed my doubts aside until you said "Crushie and I are together now." There is really no easy way to break somebody's heart.

What kind of betrayal was that? Then, it was something beyond forgetting. That was classic.

They say, don't burn bridges but I did not heed that. After that, I felt that there is nothing left in us even as friends...or aquaintance. Things can never be as it was --as good friends. If you just told me that you were hitting it off with her and not smother me with sweet nothings and attention then we could have remained friends. But you did the classic "namamanka sa dalawang ilog". Worse, I knew the girl and you had me as your fall back.

"Let's not communicate anymore. With what you did. I don't think we can even be friends... friends do not betray each other and that is exaclty what you did. I never expected it from you" That was it. I would never forget how things went between us.

I don't feel the pain anymore but I can never forget the feeling of being betrayed. The same way, I don't feel I love you anymore but I will always remember that I loved you like I never did.

I found, there is space called friendship afterall for us.

I know we're cool.

Dreaming of Surfing Again

2006-06-24T21:07:00.001+08:00

one week na.... gusto ko ulit mag surfing.
at mag surfing pa

Just A Quick Release.

2006-06-15T16:54:00.001+08:00

This will be just quick since I am in Urdaneta when my grandparents house is in Pozorrubio. I went all the way here just to find an ATM and net cafe.

A week ago, I was with my friends riding a bus going to Baguio. We only planned to stay a night but ended up staying two nights.

SO SAYA! Hindi ako hinika. We're going back at the end of June.

Anyway, when we left Baguio, I decided to surprise my grandparents. Thus, prolonging my stay here. Although, I am going home tomorrow and then leave the next day for Quezon...for the surfing camp.

I'm excited. It is getting dark. I should go back to my lola's house na.

Miss everything already.

A Different Kind of Job Interview

2006-06-06T14:14:00.001+08:00

Yesterday was quite an experience. I fought my procrastination. I didn't give up on a task half-way which I am so fond of doing.

I was scheduled for a job interview yesterday at Adriatico, Malate. That was a far venue from QC but I went against all odds.

When I got to the lobby, I sent an sms to announce my attendance to the person who was to interview me that turns out to be the boss, himself. I know it was not conventional to sms your employer but it worked for us. He didn't mind so I don't think I have to mind it too.

The job interview went casually. He told me that he misplaced my resume and I thought that it was a good thing he kept my number stored. I probably impressed him because not only did I nail the position, he also offered other projects he has going on his other companies.

We shook hands and okay, the weirdest thing happened, as I was five steps away from the lobby exit, he asked me to go back because he'll take a picture of me. I've seen an interview end prior to mine and it did not end with a photo session. But anyway, I smiled and he snapped his camera.

It was a different kind of interview but in a funny and good way.

These were my thoughts after the interview.

Ancient philosophy from I Ching goes, "Perseverance is favorable" or "Perseverance brings good fortune."

I'm glad I did not pass up on this interview. I'm glad I did not procrastinate. I'm glad I was not bratty that day. I'm glad that I was present on the day when blessings are poured. Good things happen when you least expect it, you just have to take faith. In that faith, you'll find strength to persevere.

"If you truly desire something with all your heart, the entire universe will conspire with you to achieve it." - Paulo Coelho

Before graduating college, as a Child Development and Education student, we were required to make a feasibility study on a concept school. My concept school was centered for the poverty-stricken communities. How I intend it to be run is already classified information. I am aware that there is a huge gap between the role of educational system and the communities suffering poverty. Feeling bad that I am ignoring this problem as an educator, and that I am enjoying a comfortable teaching position, I left a secure private school institution. Searching for an appropriate avenue to address the problem. I'm glad I left because I'm closer to my purpose.

We could fly, Yov and I

2006-06-03T11:44:00.001+08:00

It is this lucid, " The red light of the sun, slowly descending. The sky is all I see, it's never ending. We could fly, you and I. On a cloud, kissing, kissing." It is 12 noon, and I think of you, like this, like this, and that way. I think of you in all ways, always.

Lunch time. But I do not crave for food, I crave a moment with you. When I walk on afternoons, I thought I saw you but they can never surpass your charm.

It puzzles me why I am so fond of you. So don't asky why- I do not know how to answer that. Ask me instead, 'Are you happy?', I can not possibly tell you. I can not possibly tell you when my lips are darted to yours all along.

Just Inconceivable!

2006-05-30T18:05:00.002+08:00

I have the habit of putting off for a while what is due on my schedule. Since I do accept my incompetencies, I know I should counter that. That is something that comes as a challenge everyday. I get better each day.

I did what I have to do yesterday. Seek productive adventure; since I found working full-time as a teacher in a stressful environment, repulsive. I just had enough. I felt that as I stay there, I stagnate. I don't want to. So, I left.

Anyway, I finally had enough of vacation. I did scout some jobs that I find appealing and I didn't hesitate to request details about the job offering.

Some are offering inconceivable deals.

There was one that offers a part-time teaching job; 5 days a week for P5000 a month??! In other words, P26 a student per day. If you have 12 students a day = P312. That is not so promising.

The other one, a post from an English Tutorial Center. Pays P60 per session in for a peer tutorial. It even boasts of free transportation! Alryt! ahaha

I think, ganyan talaga sa Pilipinas. Kung kayang iabuso ang employee gagawin sa kasagaran.

Clearance Day

2006-05-29T10:35:00.000+08:00

OK, I plan to finish my employment clearance. I had put it off a long time (3 months) and that is how long they held my salary too. hehehe

I woke up early (9am. and yes, that is early enough for me) and it is now 11am. I'm a seasoned procrastinator.

I think, I better get dressed.

lucky girl, really

2006-05-29T10:23:00.001+08:00

sometimes i surprise myself with new discoveries. I googled my name "jammy" and it turns out that jammy means lucky. wooooooohooooooooo , i really am the luckygrl08!

I often thought that I was crazy to give this blog the title "the lucky girl 08" but the meaning just got deeper and i'm celebrating.

Babaw ba? I'm just happy and any lucky person would know how I feel. hehehe

Intro to Frisbee

2006-05-26T01:27:00.001+08:00

The base of my palms and most of my fingertips are in pain. I joined Kq and her frisbee buddies for some throws. It was funny how I stopped a low flying frisbee towards me -I used my feet. Ahahaha, I just said sorry but could they blame me?! I'm more of a football player than a disc thrower. After a few more throws, I'm getting the knack of it. Although, it could get tricky ... tricky but fun.

So fun, I'm gonna join their training tomorrow night. I hope my hands aren't too swollen to make decent catch and throw.

Since I was already at UP Dil and frisbee time is over, I decided to do 1 round of jog around the acad oval and sit ups before going home. That felt rewarding.

Football, jogging, frisbee = body fat massacre

The Walrus Has Tagged Me

2006-05-22T04:32:00.001+08:00

The walrus has tagged me.

List 7 songs that you're into right now. No matter what the genre, whether (or not) they have words, or even if they're any good, they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs, then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.

here's my list. Some are really vintage.

Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head [Ben Folds Five] - it is the rainy season and i love this version
Music To Watch Girls Go By [Andy Williams] - its just so funky yet vintage.
Super Duper Love [Joss Stone] - again, its so kulit...so me.
Someone To Watch Over Me (fascinating rhythm) [George Gershwin] & also another version by[Sting] - pampatulog. no vocals just pure grand orchestra; ooh brings me sweet thoughts
Turn Your Lights Down Low [Gilberto Gil] & another version by [Lee Ritenour] - its so damn sultry.
Bedtime [Usher] - i want this kind of bedtime. ahaha
Comfortable [John Mayer] - i love it because it is mellow and just laid back.

That's it. Gonna tag 7 people now

vinzi

gerald

gerson

mela

miggy

mayi

dindo

Renovation

2006-05-21T01:31:00.001+08:00

I chanced upon Paulo Coelho's blog and I am reminded that when we want something, the whole Universe conspires in our favor.

Everything is a blessing to me even when it was presented in an atrocious manner. Leaving work, busted relationships, broken alliances, accidents --every mishap-- happens for a reason. I've learned to let go and put things where it should be in the past, where it should be now, and the possibilities of that lay in the future. Possibilities.

Quite literally, our house is subjected to this evolution as well. Today, we are repairing house from its cancer. Replaced worn-out floor and damaged ceiling. Repainted and restored cracked walls. Mounted new shelves (a must). Secured most of our furniture at the garage along with boxes of knick knacks.

It was time to change. It was so timely with my own evolution as well and that is comforting to know. It was like the house became the manifestation of my own growth.

I have my own cancer and I am dealing with these tyrant cells everyday.
1. exhausting atm/passbook. I don't really like remembering that I splurge. I honestly didn't save any during my 3rd year of teaching. I was successful the first year until the second year but after that, saving didn't make sense so I spent it. I wont discuss why it came to a point that it didn't make sense anymore, but if you want to know, ask me.

Now, I'm officially unemployed. I felt the need to be meager in spending, like the way I used to be when I was still a student. And I made it. I regained control over my spend spend spend behavior. That is a blessing.

2. being indifferent to power trippers. I let them be and I let myself be unharmed from their pointed claws. I've steered away from nasty confrontation and back-stabs. Feels good to be guilt free.

3. letting things pass thinking it will come back. I think it is self-explanatory.

oh well, i hope the house will look less cluttered after the renovation and i hope the same goes with my dear life.

A Calling?

2006-05-20T21:55:00.002+08:00

Last night was pretty interesting. Mac told me that we are going to watch The Da Vinci Code but he wasn't sure which cinemas/malls would be showing it. I am not expecting him to make an effort to check out the movie scheds in the metro, so I did it myself (thanks to clickthecity.com, it made scheduling easier hehe).

When we got there early for the 7pm show. What we didn't expect was the looooong ticket line and that we were suddenly hungry. A couple went towards us and said that they weren't going to watch anymore and they'd like to sell their tickets to us. Without hesitation, we bought it, left and scouted a place to dine.

We got two hours to burn and it won't be a problem. We love talking and discussing ideas that seem to make time pass unnoticeably. I told him about how odd things are lately. The lucky kind of oddity.

While we were waiting to be served dinner, I told him about what happened last weekend. Detailed account of what happened last weekend. I told him about the book I just read and that I met the woman behind the book the same day. I met interesting people in just one day. I accompanied my tita to visit a nun (who's battling cancer). I told him that I felt I have been in that convent before although I swear I haven't been there. It is just so hard to explain that I recognize the path walk, the vintage car, the nun I met and chatted with a short while before leaving, the weird gumamela plant. It is so vivid in a weird kind of way.

I was not ready to hear what he told me. Mac told me that God probably was showing me the path to be a nun.

I'm shocked. How can it be? I'm not so nun-dainty like and my thoughts aren't innocent at all. I'd like to have a family.

He knew I was shocked and he tried to amuse me but he got me deep into my thoughts. Could it be really a calling? It is the reason why I endured abstinence for more than a year? I sure am looking forward to .... never mind. lol

I won't be boggled if it had been another person who spoke to me about that matter. What makes me uneasy is that, at the back of my mind...it is a possibility and for Mac to notice it makes it even more valid. He knows me that well.

Rumi on My Mind

2006-05-18T02:31:00.002+08:00

My new addiction. Can't tell anymore which one I like most, is it Neruda or is it now Rumi. hehehe... I still love Pablo and I love Rumi as well.

Yet Another Start

2006-05-16T23:18:00.000+08:00

Let this be another start.

I've written a lot about all sorts of matters but I feel cluttered so I decided (at the moment) not to publish past entries. I seek clarity and what I have written did not satify my need. So I know there is something wrong along the way. It may be because I started blogging without direction or theme. There was a point that I didn't want to write anymore but I know I need to write.... So what do I do?

These past few months have been chaotic. It could be fun but nonetheless chaotic. I felt like a rose being choked tyrannously by weed or baobabs in an unkempt garden. A lost cause.

Then come rain and come shine! There, I found a reason to write again but this time I'll write about the walk, the ride, the adventure, the journey as it happens. I love walking by myself or with a companion. Walking is my state of total awareness. That's where I feel every part of my psyche is receptive and objective. The ideas just flow all around like sun rays, only the rays came from inside me.

I'll settle with that. I'll write about my passion and nothing less. How can I find myself burnt out again when I am only writing things worth celebrating for?

Fallen Cradles

2006-05-12T15:50:00.001+08:00

OK, so here's what happened today, I didnt exactly sleep last night simply because I couldn't. A little sunlight caught me still staring at the monitor since last evening. It's already 6:30 am and I still feel pep and actually looking forward to jog not worrying much of the downpour. I know, I'm really mad.

I could have jogged alone but I texted my tita to jog with me. But since it didn't stop raining, needless to say... she didn't want to and ended up stuck at home then stuck at her apartment. What was really insensitive of me was, I totally forgot it was her birthday tomorrow. It honestly and regretfully slipped my mind.

When I was at her apartment, I grabbed a book entitled "Fallen Cradle/s" (it's a compilation of stories, poetry, letters of families that has lost a loved one telling their stories of coping, etc) There is one story that I find compelling. Maningning Miclat's Story. I love her. When I was younger I looked up to her. I'm sad how things had to be at the end. But anyway, I only read a few more stories from the book until I decided to prepare for a lunchdate with my tita's close friends. Although, I was feeling drowsly for not taking sleep last night, I managed to show attendance. We went to Grill Asia...it's so nice there that it is enough for me to patronize it....lolz but kidding aside, I really will eat some more of that breaded tofu.

After we've had our fill, there was media inside the establishment then a few minutes more, someone came in that my lunch companions recognize. She was the one who compiled all the stories for "Fallen Cradle/s". How odd diba? How lucky can you get??

oh my, im such a lucky girl.

After that I accompanied them to Medical Mission Sisters at Xavierville to visit a good friend of Tita Tess De Venecia, Sister Cora. Tita Tess is such a vibrant person, full of enthusiasm when she talks it's very animated. I knew then she was kind hearted...I just know. She asked me about what my plans are, what made me leave the private school institution, and other career, spiritual stuff. They told me about a place in La Union that I should visit before I start conquering new horizons.

And I will.

I feel so light today.. heheeeeeey!

I'd Still Want to Meet Him

2006-05-11T19:24:00.001+08:00

I guess I got in to "this" too deep already. I hope we are both at the same page or, at the least, mature enough to handle the situation.

Sure, I know how to guard my heart. Although, I don't know why I got myself into this. There's nothing there for me, at least something I need or want (and please, don't say love). Hmmm, hold on, I remember. I'm bored being numb and whether to feel love or feel pain, is not important at the moment. What matters is that I feel -I am alive.

There is a certain thrill in not knowing what is beyond the eyesight. The imagination flashes multitudinous scenarios. Situations vary from appealing to appalling. Which among these scenarios is most likely to happen? -I dont know but I'd like to know some day as it happens.

Risking never equates to a loss or waste. In risking, it is a display of nude courage. A humbling kind of courage as I strip off all pretense that clothes me. It is humbling to be seen nude as I -possibly- would be at the spotlight of ridicule. It takes courage to be in that kind of spotlight. But I know I would not regret whatever happens nor would I blame others of my own decision or action. (To others: so don't tell me what to do and what not to do, okay?)

It has been a difficult week between us. There is too much suspiscion and intolerance. Hokey, at least on my part. I'm at the point where I am doubting his sincerity. Is he really interested in knowing me or he's just making schemes. I've been discerning if we are friends at all, if we were then it is far being ideal. We were more like flirting and I've never been tolerant with men falling on this category. --not long enough, at the most.

In spite of the doubts I stated above, months of conversation with him kind of made me see through his guise. I saw that we were not really different. We are just the same, bruised yet enchantingly amazing seers and searchers. Afraid of the same things, burned by the same flame, hopeful of God's graces, wanting to be better. We are just the same. Thingking about it, this is the very reason why I endured the blows being the ear to his resentments, self-gratification and fantasies... hehehe.

But like I said, we are just the same. I'd like someone to hear me out but he's wearing earplugs and he is not beside me and even if he is, he may not want to listen.

It is that frustrating...sometimes.

B-): well you don't really know what i'm going through

;;)08: and thats true

B-): well.. you're the first lady i met who has been adamant to get to know me

B-): to really try to delve and understand who i am

;;)08: and honestly, it isnt easy

B-): lol

;;)08: yeah

We still talk, less these days. When he gets here, I'd still want to meet him even when he brings pain. When he leaves, the pain goes too.

2006-05-11T04:08:00.000+08:00

walk your talk, jammy.

Passing Up

2006-05-06T19:19:00.001+08:00

So so, I missed the love boat. I thought I would not regret passing up on the opportunity to delegate the country for the 33rd SSEAYP. Sayang talaga. Lesson learned: Just Go. No more reasons and excuses.... Just GO. Listen to elders/mentors (probably too). Tigas kasi ng ulo. haaaay

I've been passing up on a lot of opportunities. I'm just really stubborn. Luck can only give me a lift upto the terminal. What I do at the terminal is my responsibilty. There are only two options: hesitate to take the ride and miss it or purchase the ticket and get in the bus come what may.

I was not so hesitant when I was a kid. I'd go for anything, even when my life is at the risk. lolz.. I remember climbing a post of what used to be a swing and sit on top of it just to "tambay" and "kwentuhan with my cousins (occupying the rest of the post...usually it's ate kim, carlo, ate mimi or gerald or ina or mira). Sometimes, the tambay ang kwentuhan becomes a "yabang fest" . "Yabang fest", i.e. the conversation with "Ako ang pinaka ______" tapos talent show na...u know, ,pakita mo yabang mo...it is all about payabanan really. One time, when things are getting so competetive among the Maramag cousins chilling on top of the swing post, We were competing for the best "No Hands Balancing on the Post". Me being so yabang, let go off the bars and shouted " I am God, infinity times two."

Guess what happened.... and you guessed it right.lolz

See, I'd do anything without hesitation...then.

I guess when one gets older... one loses the bold spirit and becomes more of the darn coward. The coward that fears for her fragile life.

There are a lot of things I haven't done in a long time because of fear. I fear, I fear, I fear.
These are a few:

Dare riding thrilling (roller coaster, anchor's away, space shuttle.. etc). Last ride was when I was still in gradeschool.
Visit "Bahay ng Lagim" and the likes. ahahaha I know the mumu isn't real but i'm still scared.
360 degree turn/body flip (vertical turn not horizontal) .

SIGH...

I better do something about this ....growing old issues. lolz

BUT NEXT YEAR.... I will not pass up on the chance for SSEAYP.

NOW... if anything is offered to me, I'll show much enthusiasm to do it.

Wish me luck.

The Rule of Thirds

2006-05-05T01:03:00.001+08:00

Just a brainfart...not meant to make sense.

just a gender tease.

I remember a scene from the movie American Pie (just not sure which specifically) where the girls were talking about "the rule of thirds"

por ejemplo: when asked, How many times did u get laid?

Add 3 from the girl's claim.
Subtract 3 from the guy's claim.

To really get the answer.

Ahaha... wala lang. naalala ko lang

Rings true.

Guess no gender is really ahead in honesty.