Friday, January 06, 2006

Lost (E.C.)

I am lost but I am too arrogant to admit my oafishness; on where I am going, or at the least, what state I am now.

I am embarrassed because tonight isn't my first time to be in this area. Standing at this familiar block at this particular street. I know I have passed this way before. I have been here many times, I recall. I stopped counting after 10.

I remember driving around with some guy. We were lost too. I shared memorable kisses worthy of 'Best Kiss' Award. But I wonder, why? Why is it everytime I find myself here, I am lost. It is the same story; only, different leading man.

The story started and ended in the same place. Not simultaneously; though, one after the other. If I was paid like Julia Roberts, I would be a grand miillionaire for all the love stories ---gone bad.

But I am not a movie star. Although, It is my story.

Never heard anything from my past leading men since. As certain as that, I am surely lost again.

I wonder too, how well they are all doing now. Something about this place that causes amnesia to those who dare to drift here. Forgetting is most often the ending.

Had I known that there was a 'No Entry Sign', I wouldn't have dared to set foot here. Although, I thought, I might have just missed the sign because I was preoccupied with flirting with my then leading man.

SEE! I have been here many times! And I find myself lost... again. What has caused this place to be wrapped in poignant enigma. Who would cast a spell like this? I've seen many others, that seem to be, as lost as I am. Disorriented... so confused.

Tonight, you are my leading man. Lead me somewhere that is not here, i wish. Seem like we are lost nowhere but we could be actually lost somewhere. Somewhere seems promising than nowhere. The only exact location I could say about my whereabouts is that, I am right beside you and u are so close beside me.

You seem content to hold my hand. Content to gaze into my eyes. Eager for another kiss. It doesn't even matter to you that we are lost. In fact, you seem to be amused with the thought of being lost.

You're teasing me again. You keep on pushing that I am into you. Yet while you are saying it, I kind of heard you say... you are into me. I didn't hear it well though, I am not confident about what I heard. So, I stir the voice and the thought away.

I wonder, how we will make this place our own? So, we could say we aren't lost anymore. We could say, we are where we are supposed to be; HOME.
Maybe, that's possible, -isn't it?

Leaving this place? I don't know how. Although, I know finding our way out of this place would make me see you lucidly. Flaws and feathers. Finding our way out would mean revelation. The story, afterall, may not always end up in the confines of this lost city. Maybe our story will not end up like what I had with the other leading men.

Enchanting isn't it. At some point in our lives, we have been frequenting this place. But today is special for both of us. Today, I am lost with you.

Did that sound comforting to you? I find it a bit conforting but a lot more alarming.

LOST.. scary but with you it is kind of comforting... for a while.

I admit, my sense of direction is bad. Now, I found the courage to ask you, to look into your eyes, to see the destination you are hoping to go to.

"Where are we going?"
"What state is it?"
"What state is between infatuation and love? "
"I think, we are lost somewhere in between."

*Experimental Composition

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