Sunday, June 25, 2006

I know We're Cool

"I heard your voice. I think I still recognize it." would be the last sms I'll be sending to that anonymous caller.

I was watching the re-run of the Ghana- USA world cup match earlier when I heard my phone ring and it was unnamed. I took the call; apparently, it was an unintentional call because I over heard your conversation with friends and the going-ons around you --on the other end --you didn't notice I was eavesdropping.

I can't say I was irritated. I can't say I was pleased to hear that voice again. I was curious but at the same time certain that it was you.

Shit. I hanged up and found that prior to that call, I missed 5 calls from you. I shit even more. But giving the benefit of the doubt, I asked for your name -- an introduction perhaps -but nothing was reconciled.

My thoughts went into a time warp, the time when I thought things are going pretty well with us. Our first road trip together, when you said, "I was confused prior to this trip but now I know...It' s pretty clear that it is you;" then you kissed me "...let's take it slow."

I just said, "Ok."

I saw it coming, that you weren't pretty sure about us but I had faith in your words. So I brushed my doubts aside until you said "Crushie and I are together now." There is really no easy way to break somebody's heart.

What kind of betrayal was that? Then, it was something beyond forgetting. That was classic.

They say, don't burn bridges but I did not heed that. After that, I felt that there is nothing left in us even as friends...or aquaintance. Things can never be as it was --as good friends. If you just told me that you were hitting it off with her and not smother me with sweet nothings and attention then we could have remained friends. But you did the classic "namamanka sa dalawang ilog". Worse, I knew the girl and you had me as your fall back.

"Let's not communicate anymore. With what you did. I don't think we can even be friends... friends do not betray each other and that is exaclty what you did. I never expected it from you" That was it. I would never forget how things went between us.

I don't feel the pain anymore but I can never forget the feeling of being betrayed. The same way, I don't feel I love you anymore but I will always remember that I loved you like I never did.

I found, there is space called friendship afterall for us.

I know we're cool.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Dreaming of Surfing Again

one week na.... gusto ko ulit mag surfing.
at mag surfing pa

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Just A Quick Release.

This will be just quick since I am in Urdaneta when my grandparents house is in Pozorrubio. I went all the way here just to find an ATM and net cafe.

A week ago, I was with my friends riding a bus going to Baguio. We only planned to stay a night but ended up staying two nights.

SO SAYA! Hindi ako hinika. We're going back at the end of June.

Anyway, when we left Baguio, I decided to surprise my grandparents. Thus, prolonging my stay here. Although, I am going home tomorrow and then leave the next day for Quezon...for the surfing camp.

I'm excited. It is getting dark. I should go back to my lola's house na.

Miss everything already.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

A Different Kind of Job Interview

Yesterday was quite an experience. I fought my procrastination. I didn't give up on a task half-way which I am so fond of doing.

I was scheduled for a job interview yesterday at Adriatico, Malate. That was a far venue from QC but I went against all odds.

When I got to the lobby, I sent an sms to announce my attendance to the person who was to interview me that turns out to be the boss, himself. I know it was not conventional to sms your employer but it worked for us. He didn't mind so I don't think I have to mind it too.

The job interview went casually. He told me that he misplaced my resume and I thought that it was a good thing he kept my number stored. I probably impressed him because not only did I nail the position, he also offered other projects he has going on his other companies.

We shook hands and okay, the weirdest thing happened, as I was five steps away from the lobby exit, he asked me to go back because he'll take a picture of me. I've seen an interview end prior to mine and it did not end with a photo session. But anyway, I smiled and he snapped his camera.

It was a different kind of interview but in a funny and good way.

These were my thoughts after the interview.

Ancient philosophy from I Ching goes, "Perseverance is favorable" or "Perseverance brings good fortune."

I'm glad I did not pass up on this interview. I'm glad I did not procrastinate. I'm glad I was not bratty that day. I'm glad that I was present on the day when blessings are poured. Good things happen when you least expect it, you just have to take faith. In that faith, you'll find strength to persevere.

"If you truly desire something with all your heart, the entire universe will conspire with you to achieve it." - Paulo Coelho

Before graduating college, as a Child Development and Education student, we were required to make a feasibility study on a concept school. My concept school was centered for the poverty-stricken communities. How I intend it to be run is already classified information. I am aware that there is a huge gap between the role of educational system and the communities suffering poverty. Feeling bad that I am ignoring this problem as an educator, and that I am enjoying a comfortable teaching position, I left a secure private school institution. Searching for an appropriate avenue to address the problem. I'm glad I left because I'm closer to my purpose.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

We could fly, Yov and I

It is this lucid, " The red light of the sun, slowly descending. The sky is all I see, it's never ending. We could fly, you and I. On a cloud, kissing, kissing." It is 12 noon, and I think of you, like this, like this, and that way. I think of you in all ways, always.

Lunch time. But I do not crave for food, I crave a moment with you. When I walk on afternoons, I thought I saw you but they can never surpass your charm.

It puzzles me why I am so fond of you. So don't asky why- I do not know how to answer that. Ask me instead, 'Are you happy?', I can not possibly tell you. I can not possibly tell you when my lips are darted to yours all along.