Sunday, June 25, 2006

I know We're Cool

"I heard your voice. I think I still recognize it." would be the last sms I'll be sending to that anonymous caller.

I was watching the re-run of the Ghana- USA world cup match earlier when I heard my phone ring and it was unnamed. I took the call; apparently, it was an unintentional call because I over heard your conversation with friends and the going-ons around you --on the other end --you didn't notice I was eavesdropping.

I can't say I was irritated. I can't say I was pleased to hear that voice again. I was curious but at the same time certain that it was you.

Shit. I hanged up and found that prior to that call, I missed 5 calls from you. I shit even more. But giving the benefit of the doubt, I asked for your name -- an introduction perhaps -but nothing was reconciled.

My thoughts went into a time warp, the time when I thought things are going pretty well with us. Our first road trip together, when you said, "I was confused prior to this trip but now I know...It' s pretty clear that it is you;" then you kissed me "...let's take it slow."

I just said, "Ok."

I saw it coming, that you weren't pretty sure about us but I had faith in your words. So I brushed my doubts aside until you said "Crushie and I are together now." There is really no easy way to break somebody's heart.

What kind of betrayal was that? Then, it was something beyond forgetting. That was classic.

They say, don't burn bridges but I did not heed that. After that, I felt that there is nothing left in us even as friends...or aquaintance. Things can never be as it was --as good friends. If you just told me that you were hitting it off with her and not smother me with sweet nothings and attention then we could have remained friends. But you did the classic "namamanka sa dalawang ilog". Worse, I knew the girl and you had me as your fall back.

"Let's not communicate anymore. With what you did. I don't think we can even be friends... friends do not betray each other and that is exaclty what you did. I never expected it from you" That was it. I would never forget how things went between us.

I don't feel the pain anymore but I can never forget the feeling of being betrayed. The same way, I don't feel I love you anymore but I will always remember that I loved you like I never did.

I found, there is space called friendship afterall for us.

I know we're cool.


Penny Lane said...

men can be real assholes talaga noh?

jammygrl08 said...

woho0hooh! you haven't met the asshole god yet. *winkies

but..everything is cool.